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letra de rooster teeth throwdown: ah rap battle - jeremy dooley

announcer (jeremy dooley):
it’s time for a rooster teeth throwdown!
geoff ramsey
versus
jack patillo!
throwdown!

verse 1: geoff ramsey
well, jack
it’s finally time
to settle scores on the open floor
of bustin’ rhymes
so i thought of going light
but now i’m losing the gloves
to drop a bearded b-tch harder
than the corpirate does
you joke that i’m never around
yeah, i caught word of it
i’m busy running let’s play
have you heard of it?
it’s true, i’ve been known
to flub my way through a line
but you can blame the 50 things
more important on my mind
why don’t i waste time with your shit?
‘cuz i’m above it
when i step back into the vids
the fans love it
and i’m representing everything that rooster teeth is
like a frontrunner
for the whole achievement hunter biz
so keep on interrupting
everything that people say
half time, making content
full time, wasting space
go ahead, come at me
with whatever you brought
before i slam you down
like the bottom of a shot
and rip you up, ship you up
back home to your wife
like the funniest thing
i’ve ever seen in my entire life
i’m lining up a shot
and aiming to score
wipe you out like i’m matching colors
up in gems of war
the og g is pulling
from his bag of tricks
get a kick out of slick rhymes sticking
like they’re hot as d-cks
the ‘things to do’ we do
happen to be
like your career:
both of them wouldn’t be without the help of me

verse 2: jack patillo
and so the foot fits
in a familiar shoe
geoff ramsey taking credit
for what other people do
i built up a legacy
in my very own way
so, surprise, motherf-cker
jack’s here to stay
you stumble through what you build
and you handle it sloppily
i’m building up more houses
than mr. monopoly
good luck taking the win
with those ridiculous lines
my rhymes are like the -sses on my characters:
d-mn fine
i am ah
i’m its voice and its face, so
i live the high life
like i’m bathing in queso
i love seeing fans decked out
in their t’s
like achieve shirts
so long as they’re rocking the og
and making the games?
you’re just a host in disguise
wasting time explaining rules
while i’m off chasing b-tterflies
when fans join the game
i make ’em retreat
with the powerful use of one word:
leave
get your -ss in one video
before you disappear
meanwhile ah is still
neck-deep in the beard
‘cuz i’m here making content
i never get stale
while you act like your trials character
and bail
so bring it on, geoff
if you think you can take me
you’ve insulted me for all these years
and couldn’t break me
it comes as no shock
you can’t handle the truth still
the ninth person hired
and the first that was useful

verse 3: michael jones
i’ve heard enough of this shit
my brain is starting to seize
‘cuz your flows got more holes
than swiss-f-cking-cheese!
you think your personalities
are what’s making you strong?
well i got plenty
ask max and sun wukong
when the fans rant on how
they first discovered we exist
you can bet “rage quit”
is always topping their list
‘cuz i can take a piece of shit
and give it public acclaim
like the fame that came from playing
the impossible game
mogar!
it’s a matter of fact
that i’m the king of attack
winning every type of combat
you’re running out of shit
to give as a reward
when i drop the other players
with a wooden f-cking sword
i’m the warrior
i’m happy when i’m hostile
i’m losing shirts
causing hurt, b-tch
jersey style!
you’ll see me here for all foreseeable years
while you guys will disappear
like my chin when i’m feeling weird
you’re so old, your jaws are stating to rust
you think you’re spitting fire
but you’re just spitting dust
i’m the young hero
get me a damsel in distress
i’m the leader of the lads
f-ck whatever gavin says!
so finish up your fight
to be the shiniest turd
i’ll happily award you guys
second and third
feel free to not agree
that you’re coming in last
you can b-tch and whine the next time
you’re sitting on my podcast

verse 4: ryan haywood
good lord, you’re still here
arguing who’s the best?
well, you’re not being efficient
that much i should’ve guessed
it’s really sad you gave your verses
everything that you had
i’ll be the king of this thing
but first, let me get mad!
the fans were feeling timid
when i first showed up
now if i said i’m walking out
the internet would blow up
‘cuz i’ve heard what you contribute
and i think it’s pretty clear
your fans are like my kid
they’ll take whatever they can hear!
i was the newest of the crew
when you were looking for a few
new dudes, ‘cuz you were desperate
to get more views
and from the first let’s play
i was making you money
and all the comments read
“wow, when did jack get funny?”
i’m enormously floored
whenever one of you talks
get your level of talent
by dropping fungus in a box
but i guess i should thank you
for destroying my morality
‘cuz now i can k!ll
outside of virtual reality
you want a line in the sand?
well, i’ve drawn it
step across?
edgar’s hole has got your name on it
i appreciate you most
when you’re definitively dead
or bowing down when the crooked crown
is on my head
when my skull mask is on
you’d be wise to beware
you’re all circling the drain
my fame is still in the air!
if it were only me here
things would run so smooth
‘cuz ah only has one problem:
you!

verse 5: gavin free
oh, come off it!
you must be having a laugh
i’m seeing shit lines
weak rhymes
all over the gaff!
a difficult question for our fans would be
a million dollars
but all your content would be without me
see i came in as a fan
walked out as a star
i take the wheel in vids
why even bother with a car?
the glaring problem
that i’m seeing with you boys is
you’re not good enough
to be famous for bird noises!
i’m just better
i think you get the gist
you’re just a bunch of kids
i’m a scientist
people churn out gifs
with everything that i do
you can barely run a channel
while i’m juggling two!
slowing down the chaotic
adds some beauty to it
when i slow you down
eh, you still look like shit
but i actually like
that you’re lyrically lame
that low quality
will give me even more frames!
i’m more famous than all of you combined
so, suck it
talent so small
it could fit inside a
bu-cket!
rhymes are on target
and they’re looking good
gavvy’s hitting more bullseyes
than mark nutt could!
be as famous as me?
yeah, that’s something you wish
i’m k!lling this rap
you’re all flopping like a fish
i’ve been saving this truth
like a finishing weapon
what you make in a day
i can make in three seconds!

verse 6: jeremy dooley
here i was saying
not to add to this thing
and are you finished?
to be honest, i wasn’t even listening
and not ‘cuz i’m busy
i just don’t give a f-ck!
it’s like five tiny cars
against a monster truck
see, i was voicing my rejoicing
as a choice-cut fan
before i buried my weary head
in all your multi-cams
than the people saw my vids
and it opened their eyes
that just one little man
could be way bigger than you five!
you’re out doing other shit
while i’m constantly in
b-tch, i’m never out of style
just like rimmy f-cking tim!
never thought i’d steal your thunder
but guess what? i did!
dealing insults out
like here’s looking at you kid
yeah, i adored you once
but that won’t give you immunity
you might have fans
but i got a community
it’s honestly hard not to feel pretty great
when i accomplished in a year
what you managed in eight
every project i’ve had
i’ve worked away and slaved on it
got the vs belt so much
my name’s engraved on it
the fact that you challenge me
is making me sick
take your whole channel over
with one f-cking axe kick!
so the new guy’s the best
that must make you pretty pissed
without me, this rap battle
wouldn’t even exist
now i admit you guys clearly had
some good rhymes today
but remember one thing:
i wrote them all anyway

- jeremy dooley

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