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letra de day trip to blackpool - jasper carrott

didn’t we have a miserable time
the day we went to blackpool?
an ‘orrible day, we got drunk on the way
and spent our money on chips and bingo
hour after hour we spent in a bar
and we drank a barrel of cider
and on the way back i was sick over jack
and the rain came down

oh, do you recollect the havoc we wrecked
as we vandalised the sea front
sidney the punk, he lost a chunk
from his head when he nutted a parking meter
i’ll never forget all the fish that we ate
as we staggered ’round the fairground
we distributed eels from the big ferris wheel
and the rain came down

oh, do you recall the thrill of it all
as we organised a gang bang
under the pier, a bottle of beer
and an inflatable doll called vinyl vera
it ruptured the two at the front of the queue
and then it came to my turn
but i couldn’t begin ’cause the tide had come in
and the rain came down
oh, eric and sid, they bet us a quid
they could climb the blackpool tower
newcastle brown made eric fall down
we carried him into a wimpy bar
sidney threw up right into his cup
and we had to call the waiter
then eric was ill right all over his bill
and the rain came down

oh, eric and me, we wanted a pee
so we climbed up on the bandstand
we recycled booze all over our shoes
and quite a lot over the band as well
we jumped into our car but we didn’t get far
’cause the policeman waved us down
we must have been out of our brains
’cause we came down by train
and the rain came down

didn’t we have a miserable time
the day we went to blackpool?
an ‘orrible day, we got drunk on the way
and spent our money in magistrate’s fines
we stood in the dock ’til at least three o’clock
and the jury found us guilty
we were fined two-and-six
’cause the judge was half p-ssed
and the rain came down
and the rain came down, yeah

- jasper carrott

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