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letra de the day of dread - jandek

there’s always alcohol at the bottom of every barrel, at the end of every road
falling down into despair that there is absolutely nothing to live for, alcohol offers itself to change your mind
at least somewhat for a little while
or just the thought that maybe the false euphoria can immerse your senses again, like it has before, in a better day

i’m glad the sun is not stretching through, the rain clouds
the morning was wet
the night was a disaster
like all the things i didn’t feel
the day was a disaster
like all the days without meaningful errands
i don’t want any place to go
i can’t lift my mind to direct my body
oh, shout and jump for joy
while you can
the dismal end waits for everyone
ride those long trains to misfortune to be with the happy people
delusions, all spiked up endorphins
then the sad look of what might have been, what was expected to be

scribe of nowhere
prognosticator of dreary want
directionless
throbbing instinct of base level survival
how could anyone have known
the loss of what was never found
the objects of history
hung from a cloud
rapture where are you
alive in the grey dawn
like a spook come to haunt

oh bl–dy heart
unable to love
the choice of no choice
come batter my footing
glory to those who endure and say nothing
glory to the empty mind and heavy soul
all the earthquakes of the past only repositioned the ground we don’t walk on
wherefore health
why must i have it in a world gone blind
blind to my eye
call my name you crowd
you only think i’m there
writings of the forlorn
lover of the death in life
uncovering the sinister shaded
lay down in loneliness
to think there might have been another soul like me
deluded dynasty
running in a rounded room
he can leave and return
all is the same
or is it

ye dogs of daylight
running with the wind
empty allies where no one goes
they know they won’t return
all smiles at midday whatever for
it’s the worst day ever because it’s the last day
oh yes, but a high point of tragedy
a debacle
did you think there was hope
sorry for stupidity i’ll try harder to understand this death in life

the rapid deteriorations still take me by surprise
i should know
i don’t like the quiet
i don’t like the hectic the day was disastrous
i’ve seen it coming
ashamed that the wanderer called and i went running
running to the only outcome transfixed by some expectation
i could say it wasn’t cerebral
but it’s meaningless
nothing changed
except deeper into wanton despair
nice to be home

oh yeah the trip was great
all the fond memories
crashing down to earth
without resolve
marching down the days

i feel
yes, i wish i didn’t
no one knows
i don’t tell them
i scream
quietly
i surge without pulse
to reach out
with cut off arms
my melody is scrambled
oh, this should have been a novel
curl up by the light
get transported
instead, the upset
i give the upset that no one wants at very best i evoke sorrow

plight of the stay at home
all the wars waged
take the gun from my hand
feat of the beast
regurgitated here
bubbling mass of developed cells
call of the wild
but i don’t heed
i can’t stand up
the accomplishment of nothing
everyone knows it
i say it
to myself
oh, you think i’m wrong
you feel grand
good for you

all that’s been made by the hand of man
he who makes
he who gathers materials and assembles
assemble yourself, dear friend
then watch it come apart
it only takes an hour, the day of the dread comes upon you
falter not
be strong
you don’t know anything yet

- jandek

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