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letra de friday morning - jandek

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thank you for helping me
with the settings and configurations
of my cellphone yesterday
now i can enjoy the weather
and the battery power at a glance

but more than anything else
thank you for your art
the image of saturn
and one of its moons
in glorious colors
i would not have chosen
on my own
and when i open my cellphone
i see that image you put there
and nothing can compare
because it was your selection
not the standard choice

and when the police cars
drive by the spotlight on the park
at 2:17 am
the time i see above saturn
it makes me happy
amongst all this sadness

and i’m thankful for that
so very thankful

i don’t know what i bring to the table
but your help is so very appreciated

my cellphone is a friend
because you’re at the other end
maybe
sometimes
just maybe

it’s always by my side
waking
sleeping
if you’re not here
at least you’re there
at the other end
of the cellphone line
maybe
sometimes
just maybe

my number is forever
it doesn’t change
so you always have it
if you should ever need it

i know that numbers come and go
are discarded and forgotten
it’s only a brief time of life
that they are important
but maybe
just maybe
it won’t be that way

life goes on
with you or without you
with you is a symphony
without you is a dirge
right now
well right now
i can’t put the pieces together

there’s only a soft breeze
sometimes flowing by
rustling the leaves
of a turning color tree

and out past the sidewalk
where no one walks
this time of night
some spirits are there

if i can only see them
the spirits you left
when you departed
and i was left hanging
without you

maybe you didn’t really leave
but it felt that way
and now i’m broken lonely
abiding in a place only i know

iron railings protect me
from falling to the ground
not that i care too much
but i might tomorrow

there’s a wild place
out far away
that has no high places
where you traverse the ground
in search of nothing
except that which you find

and most would say
what’s this all about
but i say
this is about nothing

what else
walk on walk on
to nowhere

what do you think
you got a handle on it
you think you know

all you bright answers
are shielded by the iron railing

bare your body to the death
you find as you traverse
the lonely fields
you find yourself walking through

i die today
i k!ll all of me
only to become
what i don’t know

all the world succumbs
with me
annihilation
explosion
earthquake

i’m falling into
god knows where
and that’s the point
i don’t care

take me all you angels
the angel i had
departed

i’m grounded
left to walk the earth
lost my heavenly stars

what did i think
i could be there
in the heavens

maybe tomorrow
but now i’m back to earth
heavy with the soil
oh for the airy clouds

these floors that i know
i would gladly give away
forget them forever
if only
i could walk your floors
forever

that’s why i was born
i don’t care about me
find me in you

some might say i’m helpless
i don’t agree
i assume all power
as long as you love me
if you do
if not i’m the same
lost soul i always was

you see your love
gives me such life
apart from this death
i die every day

inebriation
i’m dead
except i’m alive
in some small way

but the agitation
seems to be blurred
my mind is averted
away from all those thoughts
taking over my well-being
if i had that

for a while
i thought i did
but now i’m here
clawing at the moon

where are you my heart
disappeared in the night
even though it was day
when the pain took me over

how will i ever know
that somebody likes me
how can i ever be sure
of anyone

my broken love on the rocks
ocean waves crashing over

i started out thinking of you
i don’t want to stop now
your illumination is brilliant
it’s only my darkness
that foils me

oh god how i love you
colored leaves resting on your knees

why do i k!ll myself
constantly
but let’s return
to loving you

forget anything else
the joy the joy
the exhilaration
can i make you happy
yes that’s my life

but i saddened you
and i don’t know how
to overcome that

i’m a pickle in salt brine
maybe i can cure someone
of something
someday
once again
maybe

but i love you so much

- jandek

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