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letra de santa claus is coming with guns - j pee

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j pee baby

h-llo little timmy
i have your christmas list
here in my sack is your every wish
you want a new dirt-bike & a jet-ski
love & safety for your family
timmy, you’re so thoughtful
omg

that’s why you need a–

[chorus 1]
gun!
cuz you need to protect your family timmy
people are out to k!ll you-
gun!
if you love them like you say you do
this is the gift for you-
gun!
the only way to stop bad guys with guns
is good guys with-
guns!
and you’re a good guy, timmy
so you need one!

h-llo little sarah
you seem like a sweet girl
thank you for the cookies
your baking is
nuts!
i see on your list
you like education
brand new backpack and a calculator
i think school is great, don’t get me wrong
but sarah
books will not protect you from a–

[chorus 2]
gun!
cuz your cl-ssmates are f-cking crazy
and all of them have guns
that’s why i bought you an ak for your safety
so you’ll never have to run-
gun!
your great, great, great grandfather died so you could have one-
gun!
if you don’t like freedom you can get on a boat back to england!

h-llo little jamie
what a lovely first name
are you a boy or a girl?
how androgynous!
it says that you want tickets to the cinema
i wouldn’t recommend that without a–

[chorus 3]
sniper!
cuz these lunatics hate movies
cuz they never had a date night-
sniper!
sit in the very back row please
watch the movie through the scope!

h-llo little teddy
you have a house to defend
i give you man’s best friend-

rifle!
rifle!
rifle!
riiiifflleee
(high note)

mommy, you get an uzi
daddy, you get a glock
grandma, it’s a cold war outside
you better bundle up–

(j pee and family accidentally shoot santa)

- j pee

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