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letra de meditation - j pee

breathe
in out, in out
in out, in out
breathe
am i doing this right?
how do i know if i’m doing this right?
i don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like
it feels like i’m standin’ in a grocery store waitin’ in line
like checking out
and it’s like 1am
and the only register open is lane ten
and the lady in front of me
she’s tryna do a year’s worth of shoppin’
and paying cash
her f-cking purse is like an atm
oh now she’s digging for exact change
my rage overflowing at this stage
yay, she’s bustin’ out coupons now
a tirade ‘bout to bust outta this face
club her with this honey ham ‘till she can’t walk straight
clean up on isle 8
why the f-ck am i buying a honey ham at 1am
i makе bad life choices when i mеditate
(billions and billions)
anger, anger, anger
rage
rager
rager?
m-st-rbate
nah, do it later
anxiety
i feel a lot of anxiety
thoughts out of control
my brain does not want to go quietly
this is supposed to make me calm?
tim ferris you lied to me
unsubscribing from your podcast
podcast
outcast
outlast
video game
“video k!lled the radio star”
who’s saying that?
who’s saying that?
we have hit a mental association roadblock
let’s walk it back to
outcast
good music
bad music
nickelback
nickelback?
photograph
that song makes me cry
that’s a lie
no it’s not
yes it i—
no
you can’t lie to me
i’m you, you f-cking idiot
if meditation is supposed to open your third eye
and your third eye blind when meditated
their name would’ve been third eye enlightened instead
and maybe their music wouldn’t have sucked -n-s
d-mn that’s mean
f-ck it i don’t care
n0body can hear me all the way up in here
i can say whatever the f-ck i want
i can just scream c-nt
c-nt!
hahahaha
c-nt
c-nt, c-nt, c-nt, c-nt
c-nt, c-nt, c-nt
c-nt, c-nt, c-nt
you havin’ fun?
yes
c-nt, c-nt, c-nt
c-nt, c-nt, c-nt
n-word
yeah
yeah i can say the n-word
i can finally say—
i can just say it
just say it
it—
no one’s gonna hear ya
you’re in your f-cking head man
just say it
okay yeah
ni—
ni—
dude come on seriously?
just—
don’t f-cking rush me okay
i’m gonna say it
i’m gonna s—
ni—
ni—
ni—
i don’t know it just doesn’t feel right
it feels malicious
the c-nt thing felt malicious
oh my god jus f-cking say it
n—
ni—
nickels and dimes and quarters are in short order in my car
and i hate those old street meters in old pasadena
it’s 2018 b-tch just take my card—
no
dude
it’s just a word man
yeah no it’s a powerful word though
and then i’ll have that secret
and when i finally get to meet morgan freeman
he’ll know that dude knows everything
just stare right into my souls and say to me
“i know what you did
i know what you did
i know what you say
when you meditate”
meditate, right
meditate that’s what we’re doing
is that what we’re doing?
this is so f-cking confusing
honestly i don’t know if can mute this
screw this
i’m here to go m-st-rbate
i can’t do this
nah
b-tch
stay in that chair
you ain’t a quitter
sit your ass right there
forget the timer
eyes closed
‘till that bell is struck
you ain’t movin’ a muscle ‘till you’re enlightened as f-ck
my ass itches a bunch
not the cheek
i mean the actual hole
it’s outta control
how many minutes to go?
i wanna bust outta my skin in disco
yeah, disco music
yeah, this is th—
fu—
no!
f-ck is your problem j pee
can’t meditate correctly?
sit in that chair and just breathe
can’t do that one simple thing?
you disgust me
okay, okay
chill
chill out me
berating myself is not the key
nah, f-ck me i’m a dumb piece of sh-t
where’s my r-t-rd helmet?
go k!ll yourself f-cking b-tch
rot in a ditch
while a homeless dude p-sses on your corpse
you f-ckin’ idiot
waste of sp-ce
n0body likes your sense of humor
or your ugly ass face
my face is pretty though
i’d give myself an eight
who cares bro?
you can’t compare to jared leto
see you’ll never be the best at anything
what are you waitin’ for
end yourself
put the world out of it’s misery
everyone hates you
you’ll never be great
give up you f-cking idiot
you can’t win
shut up!
shut the f-ck up
why the f-ck do i that?
if i treated my friends
the way i treated myself
i’d have no friends
i’d be alone and helpless
which is the reason that i’m trying to meditate my ass off
treat myself like punching bag
jab, cross, uppercut with the left hand
knockout before round ten
and that’s being going like your whole life
one mistake and you wanna go like whole
[?] on yourself in the elevator
b-tch just be nicer to yourself
try it
f-ck you
no, f-ck you man
try it
just f-ckin’
breathe
in out, in out
in n’ out sounds good
stop, f-cking stop
breathe
wanna see a bush baby
stop don’t f-cking think man
remember when kevin wore his ankle injury?
you saw his bone
dude, stop
stop, just concentrate
f-ckin’ what am i concentrating on?
just stop thinkin’ about
p-ssy
p-ssy in my face
face sounds like race
race car drivers
slash tires
slasher movies
jamie lee curtis had a real nice booty
that psycho shower scene
i couldn’t see no b00bies
basic instinct
staring at sharon’s coochie
thirteen on a plane and it’s an in-flight movie
getting’ aroused but my dad’s asleep right next to me
so i sneak off to the bathroom and pee
but i ain’t peein’
is it still the mile high club if it’s just me?
does it count if no one else gets my seed?
but i’m thirteen don’t really have much seed
d-ck ej-cul-ting on empty
well hey
at least the corner bathroom is still clean when i leave
dad’s still asleep when i return to my seat
and you know that i rewatched that scene
and you know that i excused myself to pee
again
stop it you idiot
this isn’t story time
f-cking clear your mind
jesus f-cking christ
this has to be the longest ten minutes of my life
can’t do this right
why do i try?
thoughts shooting uncontrollably like that vegas guy
i think there was more than one guy
there was definitely more than one guy
in that jfk shooting
i mean come on
like right?
like right?
bullets don’t bend like that
government cover-ups are real man
aliens, 9-11
i don’t know what’s true
my ass is so f-cking itchy
i can’t f-cking stand this dude
breathe in, out
in, out
breathe in, out
breathe
ju—f-ckin’
get me out of here man
how ‘bout you just stop breathing
dumb b-tch
why do i try with you?
i’m done with you
you gonna cry little pr-ck?
need a tissue?
you’re adopted and n0body loves you
woah man, jesus
like so many people love me
that’s not even true
i don’t care if it’s f-cking true
you idiot
i f-cking hate you
i want you to be mad and sad
f-ck your ass
b-tch
you like that
shh
who is that?
d-ck is that you?
no fool it’s your higher self
my higher self?
yeah
oh, what up
well i guess you, otherwise you’d be my lower self
that was stupid i’m sorry
i make dumb jokes all the time
don’t apologize man
i love your sense of humor
you do?
why didn’t you say so before?
you couldn’t hear me
but i can hear you now
yeah i have to speak a bit louder
your ego is quite over-powering
is that the other guy?
the one who tells me i’m not funny and i should die all the time?
yeah, yeah ego is his name
and he’s just afraid
and that’s okay
but if you keep checking in with me on a regular basis
my voice will slowly get louder and stronger than his
don’t listen to that f-ckin’ b-tch man he a p-ssy
where have you been my whole life?
i’ve been here the whole time
you just need to learn to lean into the silence
ego screams out
but the soul speaks quiet
p-ssy
d-mn
so how do i get enlightened
like where do i start?
we always start from the same place
the heart
g-y
sorry
that’s okay
dude it’s okay
being vulnerable is pretty f-cking scary
i’m gonna say something just breathe into it okay
uh, sure
i love you
uhm okay
i love you
i love you too?
i love you
okay stop
i love you
stop man
this is f-cking weird
like you keep repeating it
we just barely met alright?
like i don’t even know you
he a g-y p-ssy man
look j pee
i’m gonna call you by your full name alright?
do i have your permission
i mean it’s not really my decision
you’re on some sort of emission
so, f-ck it sure
jesse [?] pepe
you are one of a kind
you were born with a unique limitless mind
since you were five you’ve strived to change lives
to give something special to people
during our short time here on earth
you’re gentle and kind
vulnerability is unique
ahead of its time
in a time when men
are still trying to find comfortability
with their emotions
you’re over-flowing with life
your heart is open and warm
you’ll give it to people knowing it might get torn
and that’s okay
because to you the pain isn’t forlorn
the pain is your heart telling you
that you can love even more
you create from a place of passion a form
knowing that there are no wrong answers
so long as love is on board
which is why you are able to make people
laugh so hard
while still creating something that touches the heart
your body might die
but throughout the history of time
there is no replacing your soul and your mind
continue to let it be a vessel for something bigger than you
to move through
because although your life may not mean much at the end of the day
what you give to other people has the potential to change the fate of humanity
in a very small way
it’s the culmination of these small movements
that shapes us all
the collective consciousness of every living thing
big and small
in a universe unbound by time
you’ve chosen to devote your life to trying
to give glimpses of that feeling to everyone you might encounter
to give a piece of yourself to the world
the most authentic piece you feel like you hold
and give it over and over
and i love you
and self-love is scary i know
and you can be scared
but i’ll be here whenever you call
and i’ll tell you that i love ‘till the end
of it all
because you deserve to love yourself no matter what befalls
and it’s the reason i’m there
because the more love you give to yourself
the more you can share
and you have so much to share
so i love you
you still there?
yeah
it’s okay to cry
i’m not crying, i’m just
i’m cutting an onion
while your meditating
yeah i’m imagining cutting an onion
and the sensory experience feels really
realistic right now
but thank you
you’re very nice
it’s okay to cry
okay
your ten minutes is almost up
okay
so, i can see you here tomorrow?
yeah, and i’m always here with you
okay
thank you

- j pee

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