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letra de i'm a wanker - ivor bigun

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my mother said
that i never should
never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
their giggling talk i could never understood
and thats why i fell in love with my right hand

(chorus)
and thats why
i’m a w-nker
i’m a w-nker
and does it good like it bl–dy well should
i’m a w-nker
i’m a w-nker
and im always pulling my pudd

i was 25 years old
before i was kissed
and then i found the guy prefered
a swift one off the wrist
its cheap and convenient
and you cant catch vd
its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free

(chorus)
and thats why
i’m a w-nker
i’m a w-nker
and it does me good like it bl–dy well should
i’m w-nker
i’m a w-nker
and im always pulling my pudd

oh mrs palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
i’ve got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
my knees have turnt to water
and i think im going blind

i’ve w-nked over italy
i’ve w-nked over spain
i’ve w-nked in an omibus
i’ve even had a w-nk in a train

i’ve used a badger
and a lemon
and a cat
a inflatable linda lovelace
and a david crocket hat

(chorus)
and thats why
i’m a w-nker
i’m a w-nker
and it does me good like it bl–dy well should
i’m a w-nker
i’m a w-nker
and im always pulling my pudd

oh mrs palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
i’ve pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
my knees have turnt to water
and i think im going blind

- ivor bigun

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