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letra de bright eyes and dark days - introvert (pa)

it’s been four years since ten twenty-one thirteen
i should be over this by now, back to being me
but i’m still obsessed
still a nervous wreck
still singing the same songs, getting short of breath
instead of getting better
i’m just getting worse
i still live my life in a f-cking he-rs-
and it’s just getting worse
f-ck

so f-cking sick of always feeling nervous
the ones i love left me behind
and i f-cking deserve it
so keep saying that you love me
while i know it’s a lie
the only thing that i’m good for is wasting your time
i had twelve f-cking songs to prove i’m not a mess
that i’m not a f-cking monster
obsessed with death
but i broke all my bones
carved your name across my chest
put a bullet through my head
so i can finally get some rest

the harder i look, i see it’s not just you
not just the sleepless nights you put me through
it’s every single f-cking person i swore i’d never let down
the way they laugh and they chant
while i’m face down on the ground
swallowing dirt
born to hurt
born choke on the nothing i’m worth

this is the end of the line for me
the chair is free from my feet
and i can’t f-cking breathe
grasping at the rope
can i stop it in time?
my whole f-cking life flashes before my eyes
i scream for help
but no one’s listening
just the same f-cking phone
it’s always ringing.
still ringing.

still ringing.
still ringing.
still ringing.

help
god d-mn it
i’m sorry

f-ck

“hey, connor, you got your cell phone, and you’re probably studying or something, or, i don’t know, running or something, so leave a message and i’ll get back to you as soon as i can. thanks. bye.”

“hey brother, it’s eric. uh, i haven’t seen anything from you in a while and people have been asking, you know, it’s not like you to not say something… um, i haven’t seen you around in a while, in group chats or online, any form. um… i hope everything’s alright. just give me a call back, and… i’m worried about you, man.”

“hey connor, it’s kev, it’s been a couple days since we’ve heard from you, it’s okay. uh, just wanted to make sure that you’re alright. text us in the group chat when you get a minute… take it easy. talk to you later. okay. bye.”

“hey, what’s up, man. i haven’t seen you around anywhere, um, so uh, yeah, just call me back when you get the chance.”

“hey, connor, it’s [?]… the way you were acting last time, freaking out a little bit…”

- introvert pa

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