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letra de amend - initiate

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i’ve thought about your death about a dozen times
wondering if i’d feel grief or relief
would i cry at all?
or would shock consume me?
electrocute me til i go numb
or would time stand still, soul fulfilled
would i lose my will to carry on?
will to carry on

if i awake and you’ve left before the dawn
would i realize i loved you more than i let on?
did you think of me before you met your end?
i pray there wasn’t much left to amend

i know it’s selfish but it’s safe to say i’m scared
that you’d leave without knowing how much i truly cared
i’m sorry for the pain, i’m sorry i was weak
i’m sorry i’m so f-cking stubborn and we didn’t speak

if i awake and you’ve left before the dawn
would i realize i loved you more than i let on?
did you think of me before you met your end?
i pray there wasn’t much left to amend

i won’t pretend
i won’t pretend
i won’t pretend i’m proud of a bitter end

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