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letra de jealous - hyperion (eli arbor & eaglebabel)

[verse 1: eaglebabel]
june twenty sixteen makes number three of the graduations that p-ssed right past me
n-gg- i’m the bear on the cover of that ’03 three alb-m but ye never did it this cl-ssy
it’s no words actually, what this place meant to me
before to pimp a butterfly taught me exodus mentally
all i knew was fantasies, a’s, gray skies on king drive
cali was the muhf-ckin victory
how the f-ck i ended clutchin my soul is a mystery
if theft was an ent-ty i would call it the industry
and if i don’t sign my ident-ty to hollywood or ivy leagues then obviously the credit ain’t meant for me
but g, i gave this eighteen years, eighteen years
me and the dream i was chasin’ were over eighteen years
me and mama almost lost our baby to a jury of no peers
gave me a story and no fear, and new ears that would listen
i ain’t jealous

[verse 2: eli arbor]
i wanted to be you when i got here
but y’all was facing vodka and i was wearin dockers
that were too short for my big -ss, in a big cl-ss
y’all was makin all heads turn, n-gg-: whiplash
and steps past these n-gg-s with less cl-ss
while my past was the mark that held me back
i had a target on my cap, that i carried coast to coast
so i kept my head down like i was eating with the pope
i seen the stars in the eyes when ya names brought up
they celebrate the potential of ya product
like you were really the product, and i wanted to buy
but i was always a loan, so why would i try?
silent nights i was pr-ne
y’all was turnt to eleven, young wild and irreverent
irrelevance and embarr-ssment seemed to be my penance
i wanted to be cool, but what’s an edge kid supposed to do at parties with music he f-ckin hates?
girls he couldn’t date
(and n-gg-s who f-ckin fake
grinnin all in his face)
[eaglebabel:]
like the truth is hidden the minute we spinnin’, dippin’, and dabbin’
n-gg- i see yo tactic
we was pullin out backflips in the name of our blackness
we was reppin the ghettos and y’all was trippin on status
n-gg-s was bureaucratic, and it wasn’t just friend groups

[eli arbor:]
it was a transaction, gossip was currency
y’all made y’all decisions before you had heard us speak
back rooms, closed doors, pools with no partic-p-nts

[eaglebabel:]
p-ssed through only if a phone call positioned us
wore taboo like a tattoo
color purple, bing, 5 blackfests and still i’m insignificant
like, what?

[eli arbor:]
pop quiz from a starving artist
children of stop and frisk and zero tolerance policy:
what’s it called when you go to an ivy league
and you don’t feel like you succeed
they say that we “more than rappers”
but i am “just a rapper”
(yes, we are “just some rappers”
yes, we are just some n-gg-s
we are from the cities with hair triggers)
where ambulances sing to the night sky
and you might live or you might die

[eaglebabel:]
and the trauma lives, so you might ride

[eli arbor:]
and a stray bullet might just hide, inside of the innocent

[eaglebabel]
victims of the inner-city like peace to my homie raymond and kevin
eyes up to the heavens, bless up
i only defer to your opinion
spinnin in six years tryna convey my ident-ty to a token black or a jill and jack
textbook couldn’t help with that

[eli arbor:]
can’t you see the p-ssion that we stash inside our lines?
the love we’ve always felt and all the wounds we tried to hide?
all the times we tried to share experience between us
(and y’all n-gg-s acted like ya never even seen us)
believe us when we say that this gift isn’t heaven sent
cause we’ve been through h-ll, just to fit our own message in

[eaglebabel:]
to y’all is the p-ssion worth it?
to y’all we just blowin smoke
to y’all we won’t get the funding so what if the dream is broke
to y’all it engineering

[eli arbor:]
or medicine, banking, law
and not even athletics

[eaglebabel:]
cause that guarantee a draw
our audience only us

[eli arbor:]
to y’all we’ll be bona fide

[eaglebabel:]
to y’all what’s a grammy or a tony to a n-bel prize
(to y’all we ain’t curing cancer
even if we sing something that’s keepin the homies out of the way of a .45)
or activate activism, so they ain’t h-m-phobic

[eli arbor:]
holding up middle fingers to bathroom signs like “f-ck your toilets”
i’ll f-ck your daughters, hopin her choice destroys you
a stab in the back, stab in the back
heard i’m unattractive
heard i’m of a race of illegitimate b-st-rds
heard my black skin is anthesis
to white purity and innocence in the realest sense
(but black kids here buyin into the images of bet)
as if they fight against n-gg-s with ebt, bootleg dvds
while pretending that they was weaned on chicken and collard greens
just know that i know who you pretend to be
you’ll never be like me

[eaglebabel:]
n-gg-, i’m freein’ me
catharsis ain’t a show, my n-gg-, it’s a human need
trust me: this ain’t for y’all
like yeah we had to call it, and you know who you are
but time ain’t lost, we’ve come far, homie
and we ain’t gotta matter here, i know you’ll remember me when i blow
if it took gettin suspended two times for the label, i ain’t miss a boat
cause n-gg-, we got the sail

[eli arbor:]
cause n-gg-, we caught the rope
repurpose whatever whenever they tried to hang and choke

[eaglebabel & eli arbor:]
and f-ck art school, n-gg-: we see what the studies show

[eaglebabel:]
just wait til chris drop
just wait til i follow odes

[eli arbor:]
just wait til places you can’t find
and hyperion to take you outside
(i ain’t never jealous)

- hyperion eli arbor eaglebabel

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