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letra de constancy - hungry lights

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fate decides this time i spend alone
and i know it’s not forever
so i keep to myself—my own little imperfection
would i try to write my own way
or trace the lines between the dots?

o’ i wish i could forget everything!
to dig up all the seeds i had sown
all the dreams i had chased…
how i wanted to make this right!
but their buzzing dampened the way
the swarm was too loud
and was drowning the sound of my soul’s shrieks

how i just want to go back
and remove myself from others’ lives!
blow up the bridge—a bomb between you and me
another could take my place
i want to be a n-body
i want to disappear

your word’s only good when it’s not make-believe
it’s harder to reclaim a trust once it leaves
and harder to do so from behind the walls of a prison cell
but your arrow met its mark down the center
splintered-fractured!
and dust was all that matched what you shot
from the quiver of your scorn
-such bolts don’t belong here

how i just want to go back
and remove myself from others’ lives!
blow up the bridge—a bomb between you and me
another could take my place
i want to be a n-body
i want to disappear

o’ they took my lamb away!
and the wolf i was, how i howled resurgence!
and this chastened snare of pride and steel was a part of me
how i’d bite my own head off!

i was burning
i was weakened
what i felt’s below dismay
to inherit such stigma and peel back that sh-ll
i don’t belong here

no one cried, “timber” when i fell
my roots were worn and dried
so i just fell…
i just fell apart

were you ever even with me?
did you ever even care?
-another victim for the coward’s rage
if i went to the beginning
and i traced it back to here
would i understand my flaws?

and what am i to do with this limiting, fail-safe rationale?
and who was i to prove?
being the conqueror
i had vanquished all the petty, little thorns on the sidewalk
-kept the concrete clear
and so time increased its pacing
now too fast—i’ve grown afraid!
and what am i to do with my fear?
and how do i prevent these burning tears from falling out?
if i run from the truth, i’m only hiding from myself
but that reflection in the mirror?
that’s not the person i should see

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