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letra de history of sherlock holmes (in one take) - history bombs

[sherlock holmes]
history bombs, i presume

[moderator]
ladies and gents, let me introduce
if you have not by now deduced
mr. sherlock holmes

[sherlock holmes]
delighted to meet you all

[moderator]
though, sadly for the met, he’s entirely fictional

this history bomb will unravel his mystery
to do so, we’ll delve into history
to meet the author who provided the toil
one arthur ignatius conan doyle
born edinburgh, scotland 1859
young arthur cultivated an adventurous mind
fixated with sir walter scott’s, ivanhoe
and detective books by edgar allan poe

at school he regaled tales, but always shrеwd
he’d only keep talking in return for food

[arthur conan doyle]
i’ll continue my story, but makе no mistake
i’ll only go on in return for cake!

[moderator]
after school, arthur trained as a doctor at the university of edinburgh, where he encountered a brilliant professor with an extraordinary style of diagnosis

[arthur conan doyle]
dr. bell?

[joseph bell]
ah, yes, very well
come in, let’s see what we can tell
your accent’s edinburgh, but quite refined
educated, dependable, the eldest of nine

light scars on your fingers, cuts from paper
a passion for reading, fiction i’d wager
your expression reveals these facts to be loyal
meaning i’m talking to…
arthur doyle
[moderator]
joseph bell’s manner of diagnosis fascinated arthur, and would later provide the inspiration for sherlock holmes
after graduating from edinburgh, conan doyle’s thirst for adventure saw him visit the arctic and africa as a ship’s surgeon, before setting up his own practice in the equally exotic setting of.. portsmouth!

[arthur conan doyle]
good morning portsmouth!
here we go, young innis, any patients today?

[innis]
no!

[arthur conan doyle]
as a thought, well not to worry
i might as well write some short stories
now, what if joseph bell was a detective?
his deductive method would be most effective

he needs a strong name to set the tone
sherrinford?
ah, no, sherlock holmes!

[moderator]
the first sherlock holmes story, a study in scarlet, was published in beeton’s christmas annual in 1887, and promptly sold out
victorian britain was immediately intrigued by this beguiling detective
seen through the eyes of his indispensable friend and colleague, dr. john…
[sherlock holmes]
watson!

[john watson]
holmes?

[sherlock holmes]
we have a letter!

[john watson]
we?

[sherlock holmes]
well, you’re doing nothing better
a curious case, apparent suicide
but there may be more than meets the eye

[john watson]
surely this is police jurisdiction?

[sherlock holmes]
pah! police?
come, we’re off to brixton!

[moderator]
conan doyle was soon attracting greater attention from the literary world, and was commissioned by an american publisher, joseph marshall stoddart, to write a second sherlock holmes novel
at a meeting in london, conan doyle was interviewed alongside another promising, young british writer

[joseph marshall stoddart]
hey, arthur, get in here!
i love his style!
have you two met?
arthur, oscar wilde

now, i want you both to write a novel for me
40,000 words, £100, see?

now, arthur, your new guy, sherlock holmes
good, stick to him, let’s see where he goes
and any ideas you’d like to convey?

[oscar wilde]
the picture of dorian gray

[joseph marshall stoddart]
sure!

[moderator]
this second sherlock holmes novel, the sign of four, was a highly curious tale, featuring some rather peculiar characters

[john watson]
well, he’s certainly dead, something’s stopped his heart

[sherlock holmes]
poison from this exotic dart
and, yet, if that wasn’t strange enough
round marks on the floor have been recently scuffed

[john watson]
round marks and darts?! what strange people!

[sherlock holmes]
clearly, a one-legged man and a dwarf, who is evil

[john watson]
clearly

[moderator]
following a brief spell in vienna to train as an eye specialist, conan doyle returned to england and submitted two short sherlock stories to the strand magazine

[the strand publisher]
your work has such excitement and flow
the best since edgar allan poe
i’d like four more, they’re most effective
our readers will adore your great detective

[moderator]
in two years, he wrote 24 short stories with iconic ill-strations from sidney paget
that’s a lot of stories, and his imagination was being tested

[mrs. hudson]
mr. holmes, inspector lestrade for you

[sherlock holmes]
ah ha, superb, another cryptic clue!

[john watson]
what is it this time, more orange pips?
or another man with a twisted lip?

[sherlock holmes]
now watson, lestrade what’s your business here?

[inspector lestrade]
well, to coin a phrase, i’d say lend me your ears
a quizzical case, but you’re up to the task

[john watson]
is a straight-forward murder to much to ask?!

[moderator]
by now, the sherlock holmes stories were hugely popular
conan doyle, however, wanted to step away from his detective’s shadow, and planned the unthinkable

[arthur conan doyle]
i’ve spent to much time on london’s detective
more important work has been neglected
and i can’t say the strand has not be generous
but i think it’s time to put an end to this

but whom, and where, to stop the party?
enter professor moriarty

[james moriarty]
it’s you and me both, holmes!

[sherlock holmes]
if you say so, my brilliant (if hitherto unmentioned) arch nemesis!

[james moriarty]
hoooooolmes!

[moderator]
okaaay
sherlock’s death was met with public outcry: city workers wore black armbands and the prince of wales was said to be “most upset”
over the next few years, conan doyle pioneered skiing in switzerland, played golf in egypt with horatio kitchener, volunteered as a doctor in the boer war, and was knighted for writing about the conflict
in 1901, due to overwhelming public demand and on receiving vast sums of money, conan doyle brought sherlock, miraculously, back to life

[???]
i’d like to speak with a doctor watson

[john watson]
make an appointment, thank you mrs. hudson

[sherlock holmes]
haha! it is i!
turns out i’m fine!

[john watson]
holmes! where have you been all this time?!

[sherlock holmes]
i’ve done a bit of travelling since reichenbach falls
it’s a long story and, at times, unbelievable

[moderator]
from sherlock to skiing, a life of adventure
going further than most dare to venture
always one to challenge convention
in later life, fairies took up his attention

writer, pioneer, politican
here was a man who defied definition
and who could predict our eternal addiction
for this portsmouth doctor’s riveting fiction

[sherlock holmes]
there were 10 clues hidden in this video
did “u” solve the case?
visit portsmouth to delve deeper!

- history bombs

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