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letra de everyone’s a wanker - gash & ail

[spoken: ash, wibs]
‘ere, look at the state of this c-nt!
f-ck off, you nonce!

[verse 1: ash, gail]
jim-jams, you’re in your jim-jams
shufflin’ off to iceland, buy another ready meal
waitrose, you’re off to waitrose
to buy your dog some soup and another bag of quinoa
shoplift, you like to shoplift
pregnant with the products of your store detective bl-wj-bs
hipster, what a hipster
payin’ fifteen quid for an avocado sourdough
beggin’, sat where your bed’s been
beggin’ for the pennies to buy a bag of heroin
suited, suited and booted
shakin’ pennies in your pocket as you’re walkin’ past the homeless

[chorus: ash & gail]
w-nkers, we’re all w-nkers
every single one of us, all of us are w-nkers

[verse 2: ash, gail]
bingo, you’re at the bingo
scowling at the winner for stealing all your dreams
rolex, you got a rolex
take your mistress to the opera while your wife sh-gs the gardener
crusties, you lazy crusties
buskin’ in the street instead of workin’ like the rest of us
joneses, keep up with joneses
maxing out your credit cards to pay off all your loanses
immigrant, you filthy immigrant
takin’ all the jobs away and stealin’ all the benefits
privilege, that pure white privilege
with your “what’s yours is mine” and “what’s mine’s me own”

[chorus: ash & gail]
w-nkers, we’re all w-nkers
every single one of us, all of us are w-nkers
w-nkers, we’re all w-nkers
every single one of us, all of us are w-nkers

some of us like to think our c-cks are bigger
others like to do it with more vigour
society is f-cked from its judgement and its ego
our vinegar strokes depend which way the wind blows

[verse 3: ash, gail]
hippy, you stinkin’ hippy
wanna save the planet with your beaten-up transit
drive a tractor, a chelsea tractor
you’re off to do the school run, it’s a mile from home, c-nt
shabby boys, your trackie saveloys
nostrils full of coke and a blunt full of best smoke
doctor, you sleepy doctor
always late for work, you’re living on amphetamine
wheelchair, you’re in your wheelchair
don’t look you in the eyes, i’ll start to think you’re human
gym freak, what a gym freak
pumpin’ up your muscles in the window, you’re so pretty!

[chorus: ash & gail]
w-nkers, we’re all w-nkers
every single one of us, all of us are w-nkers

[verse 4: ash, gail]
h0m-, your mate’s a h0m-
i don’t want him near me ’cause he’ll bum me in my sleep
pass us the duck face, your filtered f-ck face
your selfie stick needs stuffin’ right up your cloaca
she-he, or is it he-she?
get out of the toilet, i heard that you’re a rapist
you’re on the pull, mate, actin’ like a tool, mate
gropin’ the half-naked and fightin’ in the hatred
dole scum, you dirty dole scum
i’m sick of payin’ taxes to pay your sky subscription
you’re an -rs-hole, a middle classh0l-
buffering the rich while you scratch that status itch

[chorus: ash & gail]
w-nkers, we’re all w-nkers
every single one of us, all of us are w-nkers
w-nkers, we’re all w-nkers
every single one of us, all of us are w-nkers

some of us like to think our c-cks are bigger
others like to do it with more vigour
but society is f-cked from its judgement and its ego
our vinegar strokes depend which way the wind blows

[verse 5: ash, gail]
army, you’ll join the army
see the world, learn new sk!lls, meet new people and then k!ll them
you’re a warden, a traffic warden
some people need the power to get a f-ckin’ hard-on
vapers, smoke without paper
dying slightly slower, can’t do that in costa
tory, you voted tory

[spoken: ash, gail]
wait, wait, wait, that’s a whole ‘nother song
yeah, they’re not w-nkers, they’re c-nts

- gash ail

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