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letra de cheepnis [helsinki concert] - frank zappa

cheepnis
let me tell you something, do you like monster movies?
anybody?

(yeah!)

i love monster movies, i simply adore monster movies, and the cheaper they are, the better they are. and cheepnis in the case of a monster movie has nothing to do with the budget of the film, al
h it helps. but true cheepnis is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to the jaw of a giant spider. i’ll tell you, a good one that i saw one time, i think the name of the film was ”
onquered the world” (yeah!) and the… did you ever see that one? the monster looks sort of like an inverted ice-cream corn with t–th around the bottom. it looks like a, like a teepee or a
of a rounded off pup-tent affair. and ah, it’s got fangs on the base of it, i don’t know why but it’s a very threatening sight. and then he’s got a frown and, you know, ugly mouth and everythin
d there’s this one scene where the ah monster is coming out of a cave. see? there’s always a scene where they come out of a cave, at least once. and the rest of the cast…it musta been made aro
he 1950’s. the lapels are about like th
at wide, the ties are about that wide and about this short, and they always have a little revolver that they’re gonna shoot the monster with. and there is always a girl who falls down and twists
ankle. hey hey! of course there is! you know how they are, the weaker s-x and everything, twisting their ankle on behalf of a little ice-cream corn. well in this particular scene, in this scene
, they ah, they didn’t wanna re-take it ’cause it musta been so good they wanted to keep it, but they… when the monster came out of the cave, just over on the left hand side of the screen you
ee about this much two-by-four attached to the bottom of the thing as the guy is pushing it out, and then obviously off-camera somebody’s goin’: “no! get it back!” …and they drag it
just a little bit as the guy is goin’: “kch! kch!” now that’s cheepnis

right. and this is cheepnis here: one two three four…

i ate a hot dog
it tasted real good
then i watched a movie
from hollywood

(repeat)

little miss m-ffett on a squat by me
took a turn around, i said: can y’all see?
the little strings on the giant spider? ”
the zipper from the black lagoon?
the vents by the tanks where the bubbles go up?
(and the flaps on the side of the moon)

the jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb
they use when the slime droozle off
the rumples & the wrinkles in the cardboard rock
and the canvas of the cave is too soft

the suits & the hats & the tie’s too wide
and too short for the scientist man
the chemistry lady with the roll-away mind
and the monster just ate j-pan

ladies and gentlemen
the monster
which the peasants in this area call frun0bulax
(apparently a very large poodle dog)
has just been seen approaching the power plant
bullets can’t stop it
rockets can’t stop it
we may have to use nuclear force!

here comes that poodle dog!
big as a blimp with a rhinestone collar
snappin’ off the trees
like they was bonsai’d ornaments on a
dry-wobble landscape
keep it away! don’t let the poodle bite me!
we can’t let it reproduce! oh!
somebody get out the pants!

the national guard has formed up at the base
of the mountain
and is attempting to lure the enormous poodle
towards the cave
where they hope to destroy it with napalm
a thousand of the troopers are now lined up
and are calling to the monster…
here fido
here fido
here fido

got a great big slimey thing
got a great big heavy thing
got a great big poodle thing
got a great big hairy thing

(repeat)

c’mon! everybody! let’s go!
get the distilled water! get the canned goods!
get the toilet paper! you know we need it!

go to da shelter
my baby, my baby
go to da shelter
go to da shelter

(repeat)

little miss m-ffett on a squat by me
can ya see the little string danglin’ down
makes the legs go wabble an’ the mouth flop shut
an’ the horrible eye, horrible eye, horrible eye
go rollin’ around
can why’see it all
can why’see it from here
can why’laugh till yer weak on yer knees
if you can’t, i’m sorry ’cause that’s
all i wanna know
i need a little more cheepnis please
baby, i’m sorry ’cause it’s all i wanna know
i need a little more cheepnis please
baby, i’m sorry ’cause it’s all i wanna know
i need a little more cheepnis please

(etc. repeats)

- frank zappa

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