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letra de bob - fascinating aida

[liza]
jenny’s had a new haircut
judy’s on a diet
susie’s doing zumba
sandy says she’ll try it
well, sarah’s taken up golfing
so have anne and claire
what’s behind this drive for relentless self-improvement?
there’s something in the air

all my single women chums of fifty plus are going mad
there’s a widower on the loose
it seems it is their shared belief the poor chap mustn’t let his grief make him a recluse
bob is sixty-two and fit enough
his hair is not too sp-rs-
his t–th are all his own, i think
as fellas go, he’ll pass
so though his wife is scarcely buried
they are lining up in serried ranks intending to seduce

ah, i don’t know if you’ve seen mich-lle, have you?
since she got back from her long, long, long holiday in south africa?
i must say, it’s taken years off her
she looks so young, so tanned, so tight
and those lips, they enter a room before she does
when it comes to second chances, a widower has form
odds are on that he’ll want another shelter from the storm
divorcées are suspect, lifelong bachelors are weird
and any man of fifty plus still living with his mother is greatly to be feared
that’s why the single women are coming out in force
there’s a widower in town
bob is always neatly dressed
he plays badminton with zest
and looks a bit like gordon brown
he’s a bastion of the bridge club
and he owns a camper van
no, you can’t hold that against him
he’s a perfectly pleasant man
and so it seems a bit bizarre that not one old girl so far
has managed to pin him down

now listen, i-, i’m not one to gossip
i just happened to see janine popping over to bob’s the over night with a tagine
oh, it’s an unmistakable shape
well, and colour, as it turns out – tangerine!
what goes into janine’s tangerine tagine, one can only imagine

well, we all want a companion
to ask us how we feel
to help us do our zip up
and share a chinese meal
to drive us to the doctor
ignore us when we’re grumpy
and thanks to the miraculous advance of modern science, some creative rumpy-pumpy
thus the singletons and divorcées and widows are agog
there’s a widower up for grabs
they are plumping up their wrinkled lips
laser-lipoing their lumpy hips
and trying to find their abs
but bob is quite oblivious, though the months are speeding by
for all these women’s efforts, not a one has caught his eye

and so their plans have been aborted
yes, the ladies have been thwarted
they’re no longer keeping tabs
’twas all pointless propositioning
’cause bob is now transitioning
he’s changed his name to babs

- fascinating aida

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