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letra de ash ketchum vs charles darwin - epic fanmade rap battles of history

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[verse 1: ash ketchum]
a wild darwin appeared? this should be easy to catch!
get off your ass, lazy man, so we can begin this match!
you look unimpressed, is it because i don’t exist in real life?
hey, i may be fictional, but my abilities are rife!
i’ll rage like a gyarados and crush you like an onix, then
i’ll haunt you like a gengar so you’ll never sleep again!
you think you’re a better evolutionist, but the tides have turned
i hope you’ve brought a water type because you just got burned!

[verse 2: charles darwin]
unlikе you, i don’t play with make-believе creatures, you little t-rd
you flip your hat, ’cause you’re too young to flip me the bird!
how’s your show for kids if it practically promotes brutality?
you’re just dreaming about all of this because you can’t accept reality!
and the reality of this is, you look like you’re two!
h-ll kid, even pikachu grows up faster than you!
your whole universe is jealous of me, ash, and it’s no mystery
the members of team rocket are even named after history!

[verse 3: ash ketchum]
just like nature, when judging you, i’ll be picky and selective!
if you can’t tell monkey lover, your attacks are ineffective!
what’s the matter dar-lose? you’re starting to look pretty p-ssed!
are you mad because you’re losing to someone who doesn’t actually exist?
i know kids always think about girls, but this “prodigy” here doesn’t!
yes, i may be in the friend-zone, but you banged your own cousin!
kids probably wouldn’t have heard of evolution without me
but your little diglet is all you want kids to see!
[verse 4: charles darwin]
because of you, a lot of kids know of my theory, yes, but you’re wrong!
you seriously think “leveling up” is what progresses evolution along?
me, a pedophile? that’s the biggest lie of them all!
you entered an old professor’s lab when he offered you b-lls!
you were voiced by a girl? gee, talk about masculinity!
i’d rather face gary oak, but he still wouldn’t be as good as me!
gonna catch ’em all? there’s less than eighty pokemon you’ve tamed
you think you’ll get all the fame? you aren’t even in the games!

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