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letra de attracted to pain - eligh

the same inadequate feelings i had when i was 9 in love with an eighth-grader come up when you’re around me;
envy, jealousy, sadness, lack of confidence compiled into an extensive list of defects;
i still feel like a reject;
so i must eject your madness;
cleaning out my cabinets;
taking my key set back to the heart muscle you pickpocketed me for;
deep emotional struggles stain the canvas of my psyche;
nice guys finish last;
that is the case with you and me;
nice lies finish fast;
i lost the race before it started;
truancy so late to the dance;
i’m 31, you 21;
shoulda known better;
shoulda ran away when i spotted you;
but i entertained my appet-te for pretty lips;
let my ship sink yet plotted to get over my att-tude;
i guess i got too much to work on to f-ck with ya;
take a picture of my condition then mount it in your memory;
sweetness can’t compare to aggressiveness when you’re messing with damaged beauty;
sleepin’ on my instincts, i need to listen;
it takes a lot to feed a fish and keep it alive;
i will survive and i will improve;
i will f-ck up when i’m in the mood;
i tell myself i like the pain;
when i hate the pain, i state my name in a picture frame, in the hall of shame, when it’s not the case, so i must refrain, from you again;
it’s not the pace i want to run;
i want to face my emotional demons;
and now and then they creep in, but i will not let them stay;

hook x3
there is something wrong with me;
i don’t know what it is;
i’m attracted to what hurts;
the most, now that’s the sh-t;
give it to me baby, hurt my heart, i like the scars;
i guess i haven’t learned my lesson yet;

feel me on this verse;
it’s a blessing, and a curse;
to think from the heart first;
many times brought to the brink;
tears wanna expose my weakness;
i’m running like i’m in the […];
always end up feeling defeated;
this end up when you open the heart box;
she’s a b-tch when she don’t open it right;
holdin’ my nights and days in the palms of ya hands like […] see you;
i am the prototype;
hold the mic with confidence;
then step out into the light and shrink;
i ain’t sh-t, my disease is strong;
used to fight it with a bong;
now i write it in a song, highlight it and move it on;

- eligh

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