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letra de ableton sucks!! - dylan tallchief

[intro]
it’s ya’ boy! back again
am i recording? yeah, i am
big d, back for another rap
the d stands for “dynamic range”
you thought i was gone forever
and i was, but now i’m back, to stay forever
until i leave again

[verse 1]
it’s the d-y-l-a-n, ’bout to learn ya’ once again
prepare your eyes for this audio deluxe, ’cause i’m now gonna tell you why ableton sucks
that’s right, it sucks, in case you didn’t know
now i’m gonna tell you why i think it’s blow (sss-sss, it blows)
let’s see
there’s so many things to say, i don’t know where to start
if i had to list them all, i would start to fall apart
because it would take so long, and i would get very old, that’s what i was trying to imply
corpus is a plugin, no one knows what it do
if you look in the manual, it’s like, “corpus? who are you?”
where are the good ableton updates? oh, they don’t exist
in fl, i can open the browser with a fl!ck of a wrist
ableton’s vocode is one of the worst effects
when i see it, i say, “nah, bro, give me vocodex”
group pull? uh, uh, see you later, fool
uh
ableton groove? more like “ableton, move”
over, away from me, go
ableton has a preset they stole from ott
i would take them to court, but they got no money
session view? ew
who needs innovating live sets, anyhoo?
didn’t you know you can just press play
crafting unique and adaptive live sets, go away
lame producers use ableton, like a wuss
but fl studio users get mad p-ss
ableton is bad, why you mad? (no vst 3 support makes me sad)
ableton’s so lazy, they need max for live to do things you wouldn’t be able to do otherwise
and don’t even get me started on selected track control
having these extra features really makes my life dull
ableton, a popular d-a-w, but the only letter they forgot is the “l”
hey, ableton, you smell (oh! got ’em, d-mn!)
can’t open 32-bit plugins in ableton 64
now i can’t use tb peach anymore, thanks
you can put midi in a mid-ugh
you can only put midi in a midi track
but if i wanna put a sample there, why you be wack?
in fl studio, i can put stuff anywhere
like up, down, left, right, here or there
i guess you like to be told where to put your samples, sheeple
but that ain’t good enough for me and my people

[bridge]
oh, yeah, did you hear the voice crack?
wanna hear a joke? ableton

[verse 2]
fl studio, like my soul, so dark and grey
ableton be like, all white and g-y
not that there’s anything wrong with being g-y
but i’m pretty sure ableton users know that anyway
utility’s gain only goes down to 36
this is a problem, ableton, please fix
actually, it goes down to 35, but then that wouldn’t rhyme
when i use erosion, it just sounds weird
i don’t know why this plugin is so revered
fl studio ’til the day i die
soundgoodizer’s so fly, i don’t even try
i keep coming back for more, ’cause fl’s got them curves
ableton’s got one, but fl’s got four reverbs
operator! operator! you call that fm?
take a look at sytrus, it even got am (funk)
fl keeps coming with those good updates
like this, or that, or this item they stole from ableton
wait (wait)

[bridge]
could i have been wrong? me, wrong about ableton?
is this the part where i do some self-reflection and focus on the good parts of ableton in a big twist that none of you saw coming?
ableton, d-mn right, son

[verse 3]
automation is red, that b-tton is yellow
pitch vocals up, sound like marshmello
highlight audio and reverse that selection
warp and stretch to absolute perfection
this filters in the delays are pretty neat
beat repeat makes me move my fe-fe-feet-et-et
you can save clips and tracks, notes and all
you can open them up in your new project, just drag ’em from the fol (der)
frequency shifter (folder) is pretty cool
grain delay is trippy
and then press b to turn on draw mode
connect to soundcloud to instantly upload
chorus has a minus and plus sign
let’s talk about fl-ng-r, nope, we haven’t got time
i can use native plugins without opening them
and all those midi effects are too-

[outro]
no, i can’t do this anymore, ableton sucks. that’s it. that’s the end of the rap

- dylan tallchief

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