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letra de raptor warhurst vs shuffle t - don't flop

[round 1: shuffle-t]
raptor…sorta like a dinosaur
per the little figurines on the ironing board
many more get involved in some little tiny war
against the lego man donned with the pirate swords
dinosaurs, sort of obsession you get from boys when they’re young
at the same stage that they’re playing with their toys and their trucks
“raptor” of course being latin for “boisterous c-nt
noisy and rough, and annoying as f-ck”
so you better be careful when you see raptor in the place
cause you never know when he’s snapping in and out of your little rage
if you have the time, i’d check my watch but i don’t have it with me mate
oh it appears you’ve stabbed me in the face
you just act all aggressive cause you wanna be one with the youth
an angry f-cker cause you’ve got nothing to do
real men use reason not fists when they’ve got something to prove
can’t think of any right now but trust me they do
getting in fights is just ridiculous anyway, you can’t argue with that
most people that go to violence are stupid tw-ts
it’s like, you can’t adopt the opinion that i’ve asked you to have
so we’re gonna throw our limbs at each other til one of us can’t do it back
but then you’re from a place, we’re always less than a mile
of someone injecting over a heroin vile
an under 12 year old who’s pregnant with child
basically an episode of jeremy kyle
speaking of which, i’ve actually, i’ve seen him before
cause he’s one of the few battlers that i’ve seen previously
he actually made it to be seen on tv
from my abusive uncle-
my-i’ve actually him on-
he’s one of the abusive-
f-cking what am i talking about?
i have actually seen him previously
he’s one of the few battlers who’s actually been on tv
from my patience with my abusive boyfriend reaching it’s peak
and my drug addicted uncle keeps stealing from me
got there in the f-cking end, didn’t we?
but i won’t talk about your abusive relationship cause that won’t be new
and i won’t talk about you being like shotti cause that’s already known to you
but what i will say is the very fact that things like that are overused
is total proof that i don’t need to, we already know it’s true
…expected more
but i hear you went to prison, that must’ve been a sobering sight
reminds me of when i was young with my cousin, oh we would fight
punched him a little too hard once and got grounded for over a night
so, it’s alright, i know what it’s like
i think it’s cool, but those mortgage guys aren’t so easily impressed
especially when you put “jail” as your previous address
he tried to change it to where he’s from in manchester and they hit him with “wow
we might actually leave that as “prison” for now.”
a lot of that stuff about manchester was really nasty
so i really am sorry guys
no punchline, i just sincerely apologize

[round 2: shuffle-t]
mr. and mrs. warhurst, i think it’s [?] you came in today
i think if we take ryan’s misbehavior in a different way
we can see why he finds it difficult to partic-p-te with the games and things play
you know what? let’s begin, okay
so may the 9th he stayed behind cause he threatened mr. davis life with a pastry knife
ah, so we made him do 80 lines
he turned up two hours early with a mirror caked in white
saying, “you c-nts are in for a crazy night.”
which i’m afraid to say is right
mr. davis was never the same again…he died
now february the 8th or november the, wait i’m forgetful today
ah i should check with it, dave, um when- do you remember when the last time that ryan-
(the 7th of may)
on the 7th of may, i’m so forgetful today
on the 7th of may {laughing} anyway
at the end of the day, we did this where will you be in the future thing that we get them to play
where they say what jobs they wanna have by 20 let’s say
uh, so one child wanted to be, you know be credited fame so he drew a celebrities name
uh, one child drew a fire engine display cause they said they were brave
one child, very touching actually, draw a picture of a heavenly saint
your ryan drew the front cover of trainspotting
injecting away with heroin stains, next to a blade with some mdma
and a picture of scarface with his head in cocaine
so we gave him detention again
uh, now the other day, ryan and another boy had a fight
i know boys will be boys but your boy…had a knife
however, i can say, he’s astounding at math
he can do algebra and doesn’t count on his hands
the only glitch with this we found that he has
is that he can only use the numbers if he converts them to ounces or grams
in performing arts, he excels as a student and an actor
um, as long as you refer to him by the pseudonym of raptor
and does some times lose it and his head starts booming in anger
til it looks like the simpsons malfunctioning nuclear reactor
sorry, you misunderstood why i brought you two into here
so we don’t want to punish ryan or let the tutors interfere
this is manchester he’s brought our offset scores through and into clear
so much we’re hollering to offer him with student of the year
time

[round 3: shuffle-t]
raptor…be honest…did you spite me?
in leeds?
i think you did
if it wasn’t you it was one of your mates
now i’m not gonna rhyme that by the way
and look, if you wanted me to get off my face you should’ve just asked me casual
i don’t need drugs to make me do the robot like i’m part mechanical
just get me sugar in me and my dancing’s magical
i’m a pinata that’s a party animal
so i was recently talking with my mate, uh tsu major
and we were talking about how much we like michael shoemaker
i’ve been watching him ever since i was a teenager
even got him saved up on my screen saver
i had this whole bit ready for when you all of a sudden correct it
but fine, whatever, f-cking forget it
now i’ma get serious with ryan now
i’m gonna say something he won’t want me crying out
and it’s not something he’s gonna take lying down
you are a- one second, sorry sorry, i got a call, quiet down
{answers his phone}
h-llo?
mum, uh, yeah, it’s really not the best time to be calling, okay?
um, cause it’s currently getting a little awkward on stage
no, no, no, no remember i did already say i can’t make it in for dinner i’m performing today
raptor…
raptor, you don’t know him
he’s one of the aggressive ones you said you’d rather miss
[?]
remember the one that battled charlie clips?
i know we’re getting a bit- right, okay
remember when we watched the t-tle match? yeah, half of it
raptor is the one who’s parts we skipped
yeah, no, he’s the one who looked like he was near death
yeah, good point, the one without the beard then
weird head
yeah, yeah, no he mentioned the posh stuff you know it’s all in good fun
oh yeah, you’re being quite talkative mum
yeah, okay, alright, consider it already done
um sorry, she said she wants me to call you a “c-nt”
mum, mum, mum i don’t have time for this b-ll-cks today
i don’t care what moyra said at work in a horrible way
….oh she said that…did you tell her that that wasn’t okay?
you already did? what did she say?
alright, look sorry, actually no i’m getting distracted so i have to go
alright, i love you too, alright yep see you back at home
yep, thanks for phoning, hang up though
alright, alright, love you…
{hangs up phone}
raptor, so…

- dont flop

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