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letra de #marriage - dilemma

beaten and raped
wish i’d caught him on tape
i had a
miserable existence
with no means to escape
burning with hate
i played the
doting wife as i’d wait
put his children to bed
and set his meal on a plate
sleeping awake
that mother f-cker never came home
and i was alone
my heart beating
at an unhealthy rate
he could just be late
more likely he was out at the bar
or probably not far
around the corner
doing lines in his car
im pacing the floor
minds racing i can’t
take anymore
i hastily
pack up the kids
and go for the door
they’re sleepy for sure
ones two and the other
just four
they’re the reason
that i even
have the strength anymore
then
i hear the roar
of the engine outside
out of time to hide
and stricken with fear
i rush back upstairs
hold my kids near
whisper its ok
back to sleep my dear
mommy is here
wiping a tear
from my face
i turn to face
what i know is inevitable
the terrible
unbearable
existence that is mine
alone to bear
and there
he stands in the door
eyes black like i’ve seen them before
i tell myself i can do this once more
my eyes to the floor
i ask how was his day
and with sickening insults
spewing my way
the eggsh-lls i walk on
i know are in vain
im hiding the pain
i dare not say
what i’m actually thinking
i can see his been drinking
he saw my bag on the carpet
zeros in on his target
one strike
i fall back over the coffee table
im unstable
physically and emotionally unable
i get up and face
the fight
no option for flight
my kids are finally asleep for the night
it’s alright
a lie i tell myself
this is your life
this is your love
just choke back the
darkness inside
keep your hands to your side
get on your knees
maybe if you beg him please
there’s a way to appease
the monster staring in your eyes
my face in his hands
is like a knife in my back
it’s a matter of seconds before the attack
how can every dream
you ever had
disappear just like that

- dilemma

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