letra de died (less life) - died
not content
and you definitely never feel like these are the days you’d look
back upon
when you were older and more content
and finally felt like looking back upon
you think it’s because you shut your eyes
taught yourself to man up, hush, forget about the present
this will happen over and over again
you try it
it’s 9 pm
maria sharapova playing tennis on the tv
just ate a second dessert, wwe popsicle, with the neighbor kid
and his parents
your mother is supposed to be here by now but she doesn’t answer
so you call your sister
but her voice mailbox is not set up yet
step out of the car
one foot at a time
looking forwards
not backwards
as you approach the doorway
you see a figure
standing in the headlights
arms akimbo
it’s your grandmother
and that’s good, she’s here
but if she’s here, that means someone else isn’t
that means someone’s gonna have to call you on the phone and say
“i’m sorry”
and when the saving portion gets talked about many times
i’ll look back upon again
it’s 10 pm
yellow
hot hotel lights are bright and shine hard
three people in a room, two asleep, one awake
you came here expecting
you’d be waking up
from the light shining
in through the hotel window
the open shudders as you fell asleep
but you didn’t make it all
the way
instead, the light from underneath the doorway
the bright yellow light of the hotel hallway shines and keeps you
up
you’re waking up the cold sun
you’re waking up the empty son
every time you look back
you’re waiting for the end to come
we cannot force them to be honest
we cannot hope they maintain
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