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letra de smile, pt. 2 - departure (rap)

[verse 1: departure]
it’s been a while since the man who wrote this the first time left behind his eulogies in dust
for every plum and struck a sun ray on the sidewalks of tomorrow
it’s been a long four years of ego death and sulking in these griefs and sorrows
i’m a bittersweet family man who wishes he went solo sometimes
wishing he flipped dimes instead of counting checks, amassing debt
and so much has turned sour in the fifteen years of hair between your eyes
i see myself in you
i wish i was you every time we get the comparisons
maybe i could be the physical heir since
i worshipped your origins, and similarly of contemporaries
ghosts and columns
that was the circle i slipped in the center of
and i just wanna make sure i’m not bad, amassing buzz
’cause austin loves me
maybe i’m not the guy for this
maybe i’m not that guy at all
’cause i made sure your poster’s never on my wall
i wanted to be the guy walking the streets, nary a howl
but i’ll just keep on walking down
and keep on existing in the now

[chorus: departure]
i can only build if i tear the walls down
even if it breaks me i won’t let it make me frown
i’m falling, but no matter how hard i hit the ground
i’ll still smile
i can only build if i tear the walls down
even if it breaks me i won’t let it make me frown
i’m falling, but no matter how hard i hit the ground
i’ll still smile
[verse 2: departure]
today was the first day that it felt cold and i savored it
i favor all these moments of ephemera
effeminate femora, generally smoke blasting out mouth
whether in a freezer or on a couch, together we balled out
in a plethora of manners measured in a variety of ways
hotboxing to “jesus, etc.”
tremoring stomachs feathered by boxes of chicken
i wrote a letter to my future self in freshie aphorisms
balled it up in putrid regret, and somehow still i forgived him
you meet a lot of people embodying naivete
and forget momentarily you’re a pariah
a laughing stock of the label you built your life on
wondering whether or nor the mic is on
the nights are long
and while the lines are corny, everyone’s got their own fight song
it’s why i write songs, this is my song and no one can take it away
the invites are off, i cry strong, i love myself without a faith
let these bygones be bygones, let these ashes fade away
i was a clown when i was a child
and i’ll still be a clown, even in the now

- departure rap

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