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letra de a whole lot of not - delikately

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i sat like someone who googled ‘how to sit normal’
hands? lap? who knows
they offered me wine. i asked, “will this help me level up in conversation?”
they laughed like i was joking, i wasn’t, but that’s worse ah

i’m not elegant, poised, or composed
i just sit like an afterthought in a thrifted outfit

and i’m still debugging how to be
aesthetic with intent-to-impress subroutine
i come with instructions, but no one can read them
they say just act like a woman
but what does that mean?

maybe that’s woman enough, maybe it’s not
but i’ve got sharp wit, soft socks
and a whole lot of not

sometimes i try to mirror their charm
like the girls in shampoo ads with swan-shaped arms
my ankles don’t cross, they negotiate truce
between dignity, gravity, and slightly tight shoes- ah

he said i was mysterious, like a painting in a frame
i was just zoning out and forgot his name
and i’m still debugging how to be
aesthetic with intent-to-impress subroutine
i come with instructions, but no one can read them
they say just act like a woman
but what does that mean?

my mother said i’d “blossom”
i guess that was a threat
i bloomed into a potted plant
that talks to herself on the internet ah

i’m a loop that won’t resolve
i’m more like a question mark in a dress
who curtsies like a crash test
they say, “just act like a woman”
but no one explains

maybe that’s woman enough, maybe it’s not
but i’ve got sharp wit, soft socks
and a whole lot of not
oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

- delikately

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