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letra de crossed out - deford

i wanna make this sound right ‘cause i care
by that i don’t mean i want to fool you, i just
want to make sure that you understand
but i’m not saying that i think that you won’t
in fact i don’t, but i think
maybe it’s a matter of trust
i mean of course i trust you
maybe i don’t trust myself but that’s alright
i know i’m a mess, i’m doing my best, i’m sorry
i know i won’t get to try again
and by that i mean i don’t want you to
have to feel like it’s your job to let me
i didn’t mean that this was your last chance to fix me
not that it’s your responsibility, but
i appreciate the things you do
i want to be open with you
i’d tell you everything i think
but god, it’s just so hard to put it into words
maybe you don’t care at all, but i
want these words to feel good in my mouth
not like that, i mean you probably weren’t thinking that, i’m
sorry that i thought that you might
why do you think that i still deserve your time?
i mean it’s your choice and not mine
i just know if i were you
i would’ve given up on me by now for sure
it sounds ungrateful when i word it like that
which i’m not, just so we’re clear
it means the world to me
i know i can’t show you a thing
so call me out
fill me up with antic-p-tion
making light of the conversation
think out loud
can we pretend like it never happened?
can we change how your friends reacted?
going south
who am i to expect forgiveness
when i know that it’s not your business?
let you down
clearly i’ve got a lot to work on
really i’d rather be at square one
than be left out

i want to make this sound right for the books
i’m not expecting you to read me, i just
want to give this page another look
i’m not suggesting that you don’t know a thing
‘cause you do
you’ve been through it with me most of the time
you know of course i need you
i mean i’m not saying you don’t have a choice
i know i’m a wreck, you’re all i have left, i’m sorry
i don’t want to force you into this
and by that i mean i don’t want you to
have to feel like it’s your job to help me
i didn’t mean to say that you don’t really get me
not that it’s your responsibility, but
what you’ve done is keeping me alive
and if i get to survive
i’ll tell you everything i think
but god, it’s just so hard to cut it down to size
maybe it’s double-crossed my mind
if you don’t mind
i’ll tell you why i wanna get somewhere
i know it’s only in my head
so hear me out
i could butcher the explanation
blame it all on the constellations
but i’m not proud
i’m ashamed of my inhibitions
i’m a fool, i make bad decisions
full of doubts
who am i to expect forgiveness?
say no rest for the sacrilegious!
break me down
maybe i’ve got a lot to work on
really i’d rather be at square one
than be left out

if my words can’t explain my vision
i would much rather be rewritten
than be crossed out

- deford

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