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letra de adelaide's lament - debbie reynolds

[intro]
like it says here in this book:

[verse 1]
“the average unmarried female
basically insecure
due to some long frustration, may react
with psychosomatic symptoms
difficult to endure
affecting the upper respiratory tract”

[pre-chorus]
in other words, just from waitin’ around
for that plain little band of gold
a person can develop a cold

[chorus]
you can spray her wherever you figure
the streptococci lurk
you can give her a shot for whatever’s she’s got
but it just won’t work
if she’s tired of getting the fish-eye
from the hotel clerk
a person can develop a cold

[verse 2]
“the female remaining single
just in the legal sense
shows a neurotic tendency
see note”
note
“and chronic, organic syndromes
toxic or hypertense
involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat”
[pre-chorus]
in other words, just from worryin’ whether
the weddin’ is on or off
a person can develop a cough

[chorus]
you can feed her all day with the vitamin a
and the bromo fizz
but the medicine never gets anywhere near
where the trouble is
if she’s gettin’ a kind of a name for herself
and the name ain’t his
a person can develop a cough

[pre-chorus]
and furthermore, just from stallin’ and stallin’
and stallin’ the wedding trip
a person can develop la grippe

[chorus]
when they get on the train for niagara
she can hear church bells chime
the compartment is air-conditioned
and the mood sublime
then they get off at saratoga
for the fourteenth time
a person can develop la grippe
[post-chorus]
la grippe, la postnasal drip
with the wheezes and the sneezes
and a sinus that’s really a pip
from a lack of community property
and a feeling she’s gettin’ too old
a person can develop a bad, bad cold!

- debbie reynolds

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