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letra de (not) ...for the kids - daymeus

[verse 1]

i come from a little city where it’s not real
common to hear a gat crack a crack deal
in my youth i would steal what i couldn’t afford
and vandalize what other folks could, so feelin’
rebellious, a little h-llion h-lla bent on competin’
matured quick into rap’s reprehensible demon
i’m meanin’ to deal with me
is to noose whatever soul you previously had
but that’s neither here nor there
in school i was the kid, no cares, just jests
i gave a f-ck less, no, f-ck-less
never f-cked, was f-ckin’ invisible
f-ck them times, no cinema flashback
this mystery ink, fam, but i wear the mask
back then, i had a problem with authority
and a problem with not bein’ in control
i’d speak outta turn in slurs and slang
and curse like “f-ck” “d-ck” “sl-t”
a dog who chewed his chain till it broke (ruh roh)
i learned to slide under the radar as i grew, though
so dumb hoes left me the f-ck alone
then i got pushed and p-ssed on for bein a bit quiet
little did they know that i made roasts in front of
closed doors since 3rd grade
mind flightless but a bird brain
never knew i would turn that egg to this
since i’m stupid as sh-t, right?
now they a slave to my cranium, got a master mind
now where my friends from those grades?
it’s like a search and find
i’ll bet one foots their graves
and, f-ck, i’m glad that i waited till now to complain
you could say this is my aged wine
or you could say that, whack, be this sh-t
upon my high horse, d-ck, trojan tactic
coverin’ my self and my—ah, sh-t
the f-ck was i? oh right, k
right out my senior year, was lost on what i wanted (yeah)
i started dating this b-tch, and i swore she was the one (sl-t)
but after roughly 2 and a half years of on and off
and doing nothing at all, we fell apart splittin’ my heart in pieces
and i had walked out my job too, like a month before
so i sat alone in my room, in the dark, for weeks
20 years old, feelin’ weak
i couldn’t eat, neglected friends, tweakin’ beats
stuck in my head i… i wanted to cut my neck
and my cousin, lived out in cali
the place i’d planned on movin’ in a year to be a writer
my fam had planted thoughts of me in a flight
they could see the signs, i ain’t sleep at night
i needed to leave toledo behind and i did
thanks to rob and blaize and mom and dad
now here i am… sorta

[chorus]

how can i make things worse?
words bleed through t–th leveling
some hurt, someone please call me
help, ease these words bleeding in attempt to remedy me

[verse 2]

who luggin’ bricks of pain over shoulder
over here, f-ckin’ standin’? (who?)
and he got some tale to tell y’all
he worked 8 years to become the man that y’all need
on the real though, i need you
cause i can vent to you
you can censor sh-t i don’t need
you just make me be this dude i respect, that i try to best
you gotta see, i ain’t much, yo
but if you let me, flow could lobotomize, contort minds
y’all advise while i yack the insides outta mine
i’ll take my time
and you can take my time
and my life (here! yeah!)
ever feel i fell off
take me back to this moment, i’ll hold my tongue in my throat
remindin’ there ain’t no threat that i pose
i’m here solely to free my soul, see
rest of the kicks, they costed me
so much, for y’all i went 4 g’s in debt
never bet that my budget would go so up
i woulda done anything for ya
monarchy’s in my gut, i’m all for the rules, fun, yeah
lemme unload my mistakes (yeah)
and you can take all of the lessons
and let me hang on to the pain (yeah)
it’s more of a curse than a blessin’
i’m bettin’ you gettin’ so restless, i am relentless
somebody pull up my hand cause the pencil’s
stuck on the page while i’m stuck on the fence
i’m lucky the bottom ain’t minced meat, yet
cause i erase and race, i-rate, cause i rate me so low

oof, what the f-ck was that?
you see what happens when you’re not here?
this

[chorus]

how can i make things worse?
words bleed through t–th leveling
some hurt, someone please call me
help, ease these words bleeding in attempt to remedy me

- daymeus

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