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letra de paraphernella (feat. edgar w.) - dash-n

[intro: nick reading ella’s old texts to him]
(hi, nick! it’s ella. i’m sorry to be texting you at this hour, but i was wondering if you wanted to talk. not about prom yet, but in general.)
(i still remember during grad night when you were sleeping against me at the second venue… it was so nice and peaceful.)
(happy one month anniversary, and here’s to many more to come!)
(all love stories are beautiful, but ours is my favorite.)
(you are the only person i’ve been with who truly loves me and i won’t let go of that.)
(i love you beyond reason and beyond words. i want you for worse or for better. i would wait forever and ever.)
(your love heals what’s broken inside me. i’m never letting go of that. or you, for that matter.)
(i just want to cuddle with you and fall asleep in your arms…)
(i will marry you someday and then we can have our forever. i love you and i can’t see myself marrying anyone else… and i don’t want to.)

[chorus: edgar w.]
you know i wonder if they’ll laugh when i am dead
why am i fighting to live if i’m just living to fight?
why am i trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
why am i trying to give when no one gives me a try
why am i dying to live if i’m just living to die?

[verse 1: dash-n]
i guess we were never ever meant to be together
and once more my trust and hopes have all been severed
but that’s how it goes when you give a gun to someone
you get shot in the heart and you try to keep trudging

and you try to get em back, and you keep holding on
and for awhile it all seems like it’s getting along
but then they shoot you again, but you love them so much
you ask for a third chance, because you don’t give a f-ck

that they tried to let you go, you don’t wanna give up
although you can’t win the battle, you hope for good luck
and it happens again, they shoot you for a third time
whether forced to or not, you’ve done nothing as a crime

but her crazy motherf-cking parents hate you anyways
they say that she can do better, loving you was a mistake
and you hate it, but there’s not a f-cking thing you can do
and you finally collapse, bleeding from fresh wounds

[verse 2: dash-n]
it’s like this…
you say that we made good memories together
but it hurts every time that i ever f-cking ever
think of the good times, and the good old days
i can’t stand the f-cking thought of the plans that we made

because that is the type of bullsh-t that k!lls me
you know my secrets that i motherf-cking spilled, see
i spilled them to you because i thought you were the one
but i f-cked around and just got f-cking shot with a gun

in addition to the secrets, i spilled my own blood
metaphorically or physically, i’ll let you pick one
i don’t understand the meaning of happily ever after
now because of all this, i’m once again a lonely b-st-rd

i’m choking on my words, there’s not much left to say
i guess i’m happy now, now i’m finally finding my way
f-ck that stupid erin b-tch, but ella, have a good life
this is dedicated to you and my last goodbye

[outro: nick reading ella’s yearbook signature]
(nick, i don’t know where to start, but i will say this: being set up with you for prom is easily the best thing that has happened to me this year. i still laugh when i remember how terrified of each other we were… and look at where we are now. i wish we’d met sooner, but i’m glad for everything that’s happened. “this night is flawless,/don’t you let it go/i’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home./i’ll spend forever wondering if you knew i was enchanted to meet you.” i’m so happy for the way we’re ending this year together. looking forward to spending time with you over the summer! xoxoxoxo
-ella)

- dash n

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