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letra de how lin-manuel miranda orders a pizza - daniel thrasher

[intro]
h-llo, yes

[verse 1]
i’d like a hand-tossed, stuffed crust pepperoni pizza with sausage topped with a little extra tomato sauce
and in the middle put pineapple and spinach
i hope you’re takin’ notes ’cause this order’s not finished, uh
for ten dollars could you throw some salami on her?
plus a lot of olives
and if it’s not a bother to thaw some frozen bologna, go soak it in tap water
then slap on spaghetti, eggs, bacon, and avocado, what?
then a flood of garlic b-tter from the himalayan peaks
i want the dippin’ sauce drip, drippin’ down my cheeks
and i’ll need a fajita on each slice so start sautein’
wе don’t have like ninety pеrcent of the stuff you’re sayin’
shut up, now before you add the tab and you charge it to my card
you should know i have some allergies so listen very hard
keep the peanuts on the left and the skittles on the right
then some oreos, ground them up and mix them up with sprite
then a hundred quesadillas, just stack ’em up in the frying pan
this guy is insane, man!
whisk it in a tub with tuna from a tin can
and don’t forget to add nice little sprinkles on top
dear god i’m gonna puke, please stop, what’s your deal man?
[verse 2]
pepperoni pizza, please, i’d like a pepperoni pizza, please
but there’s some toppings that i’d like to add
so just you wait, just you wait
he wants a ten-pound ham steak sittin’ on a clam cake
hand-grilled, jam-filled, floatin’ in a milkshake
white fish boiled in oil and make it thick
but add it on last ’cause it spoils real quick
crush it into powder, now pickle and sauerkraut her
then freeze it with cheez-its and mix it up into a chowder
made of buffalo chicken, in addition one mcflurry
this isn’t a mcdonald’s
well find one, you better hurry
cheetos, doritos, and fritos
taco bell sushi burritos served to me on platters held by puppets wearing pink tuxedos
nachos, gazpachos, plop ’em between a couple of waffles and awful lot of falafel and some beef stroganoff will be all i need
now my order in a lock
dude, you took so long that we closed, it’s past ten o’clock
but my heart is palpitatin’ for some pizza on my fork
the only place that delivers this late is in new york

[verse 3]
in new york they deliver past ten, in new york they deliver past ten, in new york they deliver past ten (just you wait)
in new york, new york, just you wait
pepperoni pizza, please (pepperoni pizza, please)
plus a side of spicy wings for two (side of spicy wings for two)
his internet’s down, he couldn’t place the order online
oh, pepperoni pizza, please (pepperoni pizza, please)
and a twenty-ounce mountain dew
will it make his heart explode?
will you take this coupon code?
how soon can it be on the road?
i need this pizza for my sister’s wedding celebration
this pizza is a godforsaken, gross abomination
but before you start to cook i just got one modification

there’s a million picky eaters here, so just you wait
what’s your deal man?
pepperoni pizza, please
[outro]
haha, ha

- daniel thrasher

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