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letra de 10 years of borderlands - dan bull

[intro]
h-llo, pandora fans!
h-llo, pandora fans!
h-llo, pandora fans!
we’re riding back to the moon and back
i said, “h-llo, pandora fans!”
we’re riding back to the borderlands

[verse 1: borderlands]
every brilliant story begins with a vault
and if this is familiar, well it isn’t my fault
this vault was a rumour
full of fat loot, sir
sit back, bun a fat zoot, and let me ask you-uh
what would you do
for such spoils and plunder?
would you face pain, shame, flame, cold, and hunger?
-ssault whole bunkers
wholly outnumbered?
if you answered “yes” to all of the above
then you’re a vault hunter
see? you’re hardly an angel
leave that to the guardian angel
the key to the vault is your grail
better get the pieces
if you falter, you fail
your goal is to dwell
in this world and inhale
up a whole different way of living
ultimate sell:
with the screws and the nuts and the bolts and the nails
and the rust and the dust and the road and the rail
this is paradise lost, and you’re going to h-ll
with eighty seven bazillion volts in your tail
now let me tell the revoltingest tale
full of mudslinging, salt, and betrayal
hop on the carousel
and keep a hold of yourself
‘cause the slower you roll
then the colder the trail
oi, patricia tannis, can you tell us what the plan is?
cause it’s as if we cannot trust anybody on the planet
you’re a h-lluva fierce woman
helena pierce
couldn’t tell if your tears
we’re really steaming your goggles
but not everything is as it appears
as your pandora peers
we should have seen you were trouble
see, now you’ve got the vault key
seems your plan’s faulty
it’s about to be stole by the crimson lance
oh jeez
so who’s the vermin agent
that’s commanding them to steal?
got to be nominative determination
it’s commandant steele
it’s time to clap back
so i call up clap trap
he’s like, “what’s that in the back?”
this track slaps; it’s like crack
you can’t get enough of it
couple lines of filler
dripping bars for the uff of it
to flourish here, got to be hard
toughen up a bit
borderlands is my jam
and i’m loving it
giving no f-cks
open that vault up
hold up, something’s holed up
woah, oh f-ck!

[hook 1]
stop the clocks
the status quo is broken
stop all the clocks
pandora’s box is open
stop the clocks
the status quo is broken
stop all the clocks
pandora’s box is open

[verse 2: borderlands 2]
whoops!
you popped the vault’s cherry
unsettling what was all buried
scary monsters, got to get rid of ‘em
what’s left?
a big bukkake of eridium
ready for the clean up
by even badder criminals
how can you beat them
you don’t even have the minerals?
you’re dealing with the pinnacle: trust
k!lling all you little fools: minimal fuss
hyperion, he’s really running militantly tyranny
by getting the eridium
by any necessary means
it’s handsome jack
with the rapid expansion
got to keep topping that financial stack
so let’s cancel that
take his mansion back
have him living in a council flat
no sanctuary, nah this is our domain
safe sp-ce from which we dish out the pain
crimson raiders k!ll invaders
been doing this thing for ages
like it isn’t dangerous
didn’t think our little angel traitorous
‘til the day that she betrayed us
base incinerated, but then lilith saved it
‘cause it is a sp-ceship
this is just the beginning page
good gracious!
what an outrageous play, mr shakespeare
who the heck’s stepping up next to the stage?
it’s…
a young lady, you might have seen her
she’s a pyromaniac, it’s tiny tina
about as far from a ballerina
you could find, serving up havoc
like supoenas
now we’re really getting manic with the beer bellied mechanic
and it’s ellie twisting spanners like tagliatelle metallic
and everybody who inhabits the planet’s
in panicked shock
except perhaps one man: that’s sir hammerlock
have a look through the binoculars
his lens even blurrier than oculus
got arms all around like an octopus
stop popping off shots at the populace
and now moxxi’s mad
i’ll have what she had
unless it’s oxycontin
i do not need that
she’s a cosplay hottie: fact
but how’s anybody going to top these hats?
never mind that, got to stop these prats
so f-cking give us back that vault key, jack
better not wake up that rock creature
for a handsome man, you’re an ugly chap
well imagine my shock
final boss: beat that
clichéd ending, predictable plot piece: ah!
wait a fricking minute, look, what’s this map?
no rest for the wicked, huh?
cut to black

[hook 2]
seems time has stopped
tock tick
rewind the clocks
tock tick
t-minus nought
tock tick
lunar tick
back to the moon and back

[verse 3: borderlands: the pre-sequel]
off to the moon and it’s full of lunatics
scavs, miners, archaeologists, and fugitives
the lifestyle under dahl’s rather punitive
inclusively, like a unis-x crucifix
and this human intervention was the eucharist
mother nature doesn’t take to getting two fingers
in the crater, like you wouldn’t lose your sh-t
so as soon as it went boom and split
the crackening was happening and jack?
he knew to get to the tip
then he’d have to become ruthless
under the tutelage of an abusive b-tch
but he got used to it
gave it a new twist
like people who call “nuclear”, “nucular”
so close, yet removed from the nucleus
no nuclear family, youth was unhappy
reduced him to angry
then dude k!lled his granny
established a pattern
he whacked off his manager
but not by w-nking
no, jack toppled t-ssiter
grabbing his throat, he strangled the b-st-rd
look, still got his trophy goatee
have a look!
now he’s shacking up in helios
that n-body covets so much as the legion does
they capture it, jacks’ a bit miffed
understandably
so he sends some mercenaries into low gravity
ramming deep down underground: cleaning cavities
like a gang of dentists
sent to depravity
yeah, he might be training up an army of robots
but if they’re not harming you, so what?
don’t knock!
it’s not notable enough to remark upon
so shut up, lock targets on zarpedon
then choose to pop open that vault
if you don’t know jack
that’s your own d-mn fault

[hook 3]
watch the clock
tick tock tick tock
watch the clock
what time you clocking off?
watch the clock
tick tock tick tock
sleeves up, watches off

[verse 4: tales from the borderlands]
rhys’s peace is about to crack
when he sees a key up for grabs on the black market
i’ll take that, thank you, thank you
now rhys is a man bankrupt
bad luck
d-mn, if only he’d have known
it was bogus: a phony, a hoax
he’d have ganged up
with fiona the chancer
she knows every scam ever wrote
in the d-mn book
going to get, going to get
going to get that money back
but i can’t get you out of my head
not funny, jack
progress is slower than a tortoise walks
until the gortys core
showed them vaults galore
sh-r- to sh-r-
i’m sure i said already but i’ll say again
so many, there’s a smorgasbord
awkward dork
but when you’re hijacked by jack
both boys and girls will be behind
like a bike rack
i don’t want to be handsome jack’s puppet
so there’s only one answer; that’s f-ck it
bring the whole thing down
crashing to the surface
looking back
life now has a bigger purpose
cash is fracking worthless
unless it can be spent
fed up of living life
at like seventy percent
hope you’re ready for the next episode
oi, oi, oi, oi
smoke skags every day

[verse 5: commander lilith & the fight for sanctuary]
gracious lord
we’ve awakened an ancient force
lilith and the raiders
have brought the vault map
but dahl have attacked
and they won’t pull back
dropping gas
whole place getting jacked
like the8thhawk
better get away
and escape with a phasewalk
save vaughn from infected bandits
so we can gather samples
and invent the antidote
tannis isn’t at a level
at which she can master this
so c-ssius asks them
if they’ll acid trip
to the mountain
but who’s that? talon!
mordecai’s in trouble
get the moonshot cannon
ramming into helios
so get packing
to meet a boss we believe is from saturn
take pieces of it
yeah, pull them out of ur-n-s
the power contained within
it’s bl–dy outrageous
i guess this infection’s affecting us a lot
being heckled by hector
is messing up the plot
better stop that man while we can
while we’ve got a chance
because his plants are b-gg-ring up our plans
just look at his lab
it’s full of failed experiments
hypothesis: what a pr-ck, here’s the evidence
now c-ssius is overcome with nastiness
so perhaps the vaccine is within his -ss
in fact it is
let’s get extracting it
and then go back to sanctuary
the place stinks like an outdated pack of anchovies
lilith goes ham, completely tearing up the place
borderlands need saving
for yet another day…

- dan bull

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