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letra de eulogy (if i cease to breathe) - d-hark

[verse 1]
the sh-ll breaks down after a few drinks
i do think about death sometimes like it’s just something amusing
trying to find something to keep me from dying but nothing does
i’m a godless man living in a nation under one
i’m not saying he ain’t real, i’ve just never met him
but if he wants to own my fate i don’t know if i’ll ever let him
and if he isn’t real, are we the greatest beings?
that just doesn’t seem right to me
there’s got to be more meaning
so now i’m thinking, knock on wood, if i cease to breathe
am i allowed to live in heaven? do i need to be?
could i just explain myself? would they let the heathen speak?
and would i hear the voice of aaliyah in that sea of glee?
it just seems too exclusive
only let humans with relationships into the kingdom
and leave the rest with the nation’s sins
where do the loners end up?
yeah, that’s what i’m hatin’ bout
so i guess if this is my one life, man i’ll make it count

[verse 2]
i’m afraid of never getting to say what i need to say
life gives receipts but acts like you never need the change
i keep telling myself that i need to seize the day
but for some reason i let the demons of fear lead the way
will people admit their hate, or will they pretend that they love me?
am i gonna die alone because my ambition made them shun me?
will my legacy be verbatim?
or will they take the meanings i made and then try and change em?
it’s scary that a death ahead is what i should decide for
should i tell that one best friend that i always liked her?
to others that question’s easy, just try and talk through her clothes
but is that worth the risk of losing who i talk to the most?
i think i’ll keep my mouth shut, appreciate the little things
but until the day i die i think that i’ll still feel the sting
maybe i’ll leave something behind in my will to bring the feeling to her
maybe someday she can see the real in me
when all is said and done, all that’s left is flesh and bones
unless people have the memories of x and o’s
or watching me struggle, or seeing my lessons show
or maybe even seeing me onstage as i wreck a show
i want to ensure my eulogy is useless
the day you find me inside my grave, just use this
and put it on repeat somewhere that i can try and hear it
and if you’re listening, then this is our little secret

- d hark

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