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letra de the funeral of who i refuse to be (extended) - chloe ament

lyrics from livestream

[verse 1]
i’m treading water to prove that i can
keep on turning my head to ignore every hand
won’t you tell me i’m great before you disappear
oh, the deep end’s familiar, but i can’t survive here
gasping for air to get someone’s attention
if he thinks i’m pretty, then there’s my redemption
the payout is worth much more in my head
’til it’s there then it’s gone and i drown again

[chorus]
i will keep him until i cannot, then
put myself through all the fire of learning to let it go
forgive me for making it personal
i know i’m old enough to know better
think i’m done chasing a feeling that could never set me free
it’s the funeral of who i refuse to be

[verse 2]
i thought that love was supposed to be painful
kept giving my heart up to fate, it was fatal
i put down my roots in poison
but now love has a new voice, and i hear it calling
like something soft, like summer wind
like when you hear the violins
like you weren’t ready a minute before
’til it’s there and you follow it right out the door
[chorus]
i will run after it until i’m weak, then
crawl to the end on my knees, i think i could get used to this
to the receiving end of his gentleness
now i’ve tasted enough to know better
think i’m done chasing a feeling that could never set me free
it’s the funeral of who i refuse to be

- chloe ament

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