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letra de earache my eye (conversation) - cheech and chong

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cheech (father): i said turn that thing down and get ready for school!

chong (son): hey! what’re ya tryin’ to do?! you ruined my record, man, i just bought it!

cheech: i don’t care what you just bought! you get your f-nny-perpendicular and get ready for school!

chong: i’m not going to school!

cheech: what do you mean you’re not going to school?!

chong: just what i said, i’m not going to school!

cheech: and why not?!

chong: because i’m sick, that’s why not!

cheech: sick…you’re sick alright, what’s wrong with you now, prince charming?

chong: i got an earache

cheech: earache my eye! how’d you like a b-ttache?! now get your little f-nny out of that bed and clean up this room, it looks like a pigsty. you hear me?!

(chong makes pig noises)

cheech: alright, that’s enough! that’s enough! you’ve pushed me far enough, young man, you’re getting punished! now stand up!

chong: no!

cheech: i said stand up!

(pulls chong’s hair and chong screams)

chong: hey, let go of my hair, man!

cheech: now, young man, i have talked to you, and talked to you, and talked to you until i’m blue in the face, and i’m done talking to you!

chong: good, does that mean you’re done spitting on me, too?!

cheech: shut up, i’m not done talking to you! now turn around and bend over!

chong: well, what’re ya gonna do ya pervert?

cheech: pervert…why you snotty…

(cheech chases chong and chong whimpers)

cheech: oh, shut up, i haven’t even touched you yet! now i want you to know that this is going to hurt you more than it’s gonna hurt me!

(cheech spanks chong weakily)

chong: oh, wow, that didn’t even hurt

cheech: oh yeah!?

(cheech spanks chong weakily again)

chong: oh, wow, what’re you trying to do, tickle me?

cheech: tickle you, yeah, i’ll tickle you…

(cheech spanks chong hard, hurting him)

cheech: does that tickle, huh? how about another tickle? come on, laugh it up, funny boy!

(cheech finishes spanking chong)

chong: no more, no more, no more!

cheech: alright, are you going to do what i tell you?

chong: yeah, yeah! (whimpering)

cheech: are you going to talk back to me?

chong: yeah, yeah! (going along with the lecture, doesn’t realize what he said)

cheech: what?!

chong: i mean, no, no, no…

cheech: good. now you get your clothes on and get your little b-tt ready for school. right now, do you understand?

chong: (faking a whimper) yeah…

cheech: alright

(cheech leaves the room and closes the door, chong breathes a sigh of relief and turns on the music again)

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