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letra de feeling feelings - brent bronze

[verse:]
i woke up today and it felt like i had to start all over again
i put my soul in my pen
the coldest comes out when
the ink dries and i’m left with plastic in my hand
i’m avidly loyal to my habits and i can’t stand
myself, my heart been dealt a blow to process alone
the way i grieve is to sit and plead with god and throw stones at my own caricature
i’m so immature
i’m so very sure
it’ll never resolve
the pain will never evolve
will never absolve
the pit in my stomach a permanent fixture, im beyond gone
i’m numb to it all, and stuff it all within
it feels like when everyone says they need me
they see me as a stepping stone to their next speakeasy
and you know that i’m stone-cold sober
every single day that my soul grows colder
cause my goals slow and fold up
i help you and try to do what you say but you tell me that it’s too late to do it anyway
and i’m left sitting out in the cold rain
sleeping next to the propane tanks
wishing i really would have ran away the first couple times that i tried it
why do i try to be happy when it feels like it’s been decided
i miss everything about the days i played in waves and made myself poseidon
i’m riding on happiness from years ago
cause i haven’t felt it since
i wanna be the optimist you need me to be
but the flowers i’ve grown don’t ever seem to stop withering
and it gets worse the more i feel my feelings
i hate seeing your name on my screens
i hate being the one you expect to answer anytime you need
because i will, cause i can’t not feel my feelings
why’d you have to screw me up?
i’m useless to the uses of, i’m used to-
why’d you have to screw me up?
i’m useless to the uses of
i used to want to help the ones need it
but now you’ve seeded the distrust in my garden
and thrown aphids onto the trustful seedlings
i don’t even check my sides when i cross the street no mo’

i’m
look
i’m only scared of how you’ll feel when i leave
when i am gone and the only thing you have from me
is these recordings of my voice, and the gifts you gave to me, and the gifts i gave back
the pictures hidden in dressers cause to see
is to against your will remember me
i was meant to die at nine when my heart stopped and every minute since then is time borrowed so this is mild
i hope you remember my smile and smile
i hope you realize that i love you the same way i did when i was innocent and fragile
that me staying here as long as i have was a blessing that you gave to me anyway, and every day you have is a day that you deserve to stay
but not for me
i never meant to cause you so much pain
i never, never meant to cause you so much pain
that when you drive past the places we used to play
you remember the good days
that you are heaven sent and heaven made
when you look-
when you look through those videos and memories on your phone, that i never felt alone
that every second i would have never gave a second thought, and a second chance is something that’s lost and i’m too grown to play these games with my own, mind
ultimately i am sorry for not being who you needed to me to be
for who you wanted to me to be
i am haunted by the ghosts who used to calm me in sleep
so when i walk into the fog and become consumed by the mist
know that i am thinking of when i was happiest
and that i love you from beyond my disappearance
and that you don’t have to worry about me, because when i am gone is when i will be nearest
[outro:]
don’t you starting crying about it, it was the only way
i promise that you’ll understand some day
don’t you starting crying about it, it was the only way
i promise that you’ll understand some day

- brent bronze

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