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letra de seshradio: volume 3 - bones

[skit 1: bones & scroggie jones]

you are now tuned into sesh radio

ladies and gentlemen this is, uh the lead programmer of sesh radio, flex carmichael here. uh, we have some very unfortunate news, um our dear brother and friend, chip kipperly has p-ssed this afternoon and um, you know were all gonna mourn for him, but were gonna- were gonna listen to this tape like he would want us to. remember the good times. because that’s what he would want. rest in peace kip
(his name is chip)
we’re gonna miss you buddy
(his name is chip, man)

alright, flex, we’re going live in 3.. (anywho) 2.. 1..
uh, we’re gonna go ahead and p-ss this over to my man, um, he’s a new intern here. he’s gonna be taking over and he’s gonna tell you guys what’s going on with the weather. go ahead

how’s it going everybody? this is gavin, the intern, testing out and trying the new equipment we have here at sesh radio, i’m gettin’ the hang of things. lot of kn-bs, lot of.. new… it’s a lot of stuff i’m- i’m gonna say i’m not really used to equipment like this… hold on…

[m-ffled voice] hear me? (hold on)
(no we can’t hear you)
[m-ffled voice clearer] do you hear me?
[shuffling]
[sound f-cked up] the sound is completely f-cked up. all the inputs are f-cked
[static noise] gavin, what- what’d you f-ck up gavin?

[beep]

[instrumental]

sorry, we are experiencing technical difficulties
please stand by for paid programming 2
please stand by for paid programming 2

ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. we’re gonna bring you a new record from ricky a go-go, called the countdown 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. now play it, ricky a go-go countdown

[song 1: ricky a go-go – “the countdown”]

[verse]
lemme tell you like this
i don’t care if you moving bricks
i pay no mind if you trying to speak
you ruin the lives of everybody you meet
and everybody you don’t, people down the street
turn your neighborhood into a place for creeps
but soon you will see how they make the beat
when it’s time for me to leave and you forever to sleep

[chorus]
time’s running out
i fear it now
i’m counting down
4- 3- 2- 1
time’s running out
i fear it now
i’m counting down
4- 3- 2

[outro]
until the end of time
come dance with me
come dance with me, oh until the end of time
come dance with me
come dance with me, oh until the end of time
come dance with me
come dance with me, oh until the end of time

[skit 2: scroggie jones]

coming soon to sesh tv

robber 1: alright mane in and out mane, no casualties this time, alright?
robber 2: yeah yeah i know, just keep the car runnin’, go on
gimme all the f-ckin’ money or i’ll blow your f-ckin’ brains out!
roach: hey, down here. how you doin’ tough guy? the name’s roach. get on the f-ckin’ ground sc-mbag

coming this winter, it’s the insect with all the moves, roach, private eye. c-ckroach detective

[skit 3: scroggie jones]

dj fondle-em-good: h-llo out there, you are listening to the sw-nk (so meaty) the sw-nk hour with dj fondle-em-good and today, we’re gonna pick up where we left off. i’m gonna take some phone calls. give a little advice and whatnot and what-have-you. mmhmm
you know the number. give me a call at 213-888-2202
what’s that? all righty, okay. let’s get it going
caller, you’re on the line

roy: hi, am i- am i on the air?
djf: ye- yeah you’re on the air man
roy: oh okay. hey this is roy out of witchataw
djf: how’s it going roy?
roy: and uh-hey, hows it going, fondle-em, thanks
djf: i’m doing all right man, i’m doing all right. you?
roy: glad to be a guest. um, uh, i have to tell you man, my son called in for some advice the other day and i didn’t really appreciate the advice you gave him
djf: well uh, maybe you should’ve gave him the advice, motherf-cker
roy: i-i mean, i don’t know why he called you and he didn’t call me, i don’t know man, but, maybe-
djf: get the h-ll off my line
roy: okay fondle-em
djf: playing around and whatnot man, next caller
roy: hey, w-w-

caller 2: h-llo? h-llo?? am i really on?! dj fondle-eeemm!!
djf: man, get the h-ll of my d-ck and get off my line
caller 2: [unintelligible gibberish]
djf: somebody getting fired today. didn’t i tell y’all to get him off my line? playing around, man

for our next segment, we gonna do a crowd favorite, mmmmhmm, uh-mmhmm. you know what to do. call in, ask me what you wanna ask me and ima give you my honest opinion because dammit, that’s the only opinion i give. mm

caller 3: fondle-em bro, long time listener here man, hey, check it out man, if i ever see you man i’m gonna sh-t the bed all over myself bro, i swear to you on everything bro. anyway, i really appreciate what you’re doing out there, out there in the states and all that, and uh, again-we-we-you’ve got a big fanbase out here, believe it or not bro. fondle-em bro, mm-hmm or the mm-mm, bro. i really appreciate that, that segment man, we don’t have that type of slang out here, and it’s really catching on bro, like i-i talk to my, my comrades, and bwubwubwuh i swear to god, bro, they said “mmhmm” and i thought about you, and-
djf: you got three seconds, man
caller 3: anyway, my “mmhmm” on the hmmhmm for today is, f-cking… you know when you first meet the girl, and then she wants to, you don’t know who’s gonna buy who lunch, man, you know what i mean, what do you do in that event, what do you do? i know what i would do, but what would you do, bro? thank you
djf: listen, first of all, i don’t even go on dates man, so that’s a nmmm-mmm. and, secondly, you know the rules man. make it quick and to the point. no long winded explanations and run-on sentences and all this extra hibbity-hoo. my time is valuable. and, you all know that so why am i – see, look at, you, you affecting me now, man, i’m pulling one of your moves. i’m all out of whack, so ima go ahead and call it a night. it’s always a pleasure to have you tuning in to fondle-em fm. signing off is your host, fondle-em-good, and i’ll see you next time baby

[skit 4]

and now, a word from our sponsors

“down to the ground, p-ssy! you are a f-cking maggot if i’ve ever seen one, get your -ss up! up! up! up! god, you’re disgusting! you’re looking like some sort off p-ssy. come on now, i need you to go up. down, hold it, up, all around, act like you’ve got some peaches between your legs boy, come on!”

“i remember my first day i was on the other end of that. coach rolled me so hard i threw up. and then i had to clean it up, cause that’s what lackeys have to do. you have to start off at the bottom of the food chain and then climb up like me. now the guys help me with forms, and i’m one of the fellas that are drinking muscle milk. you don’t believe me? here’s a word from the guys.”

brad: this is brad
travis: and this is travis
brad: and together we run-
(together): iron gains gym
brad: when i met travis fours years ago, travis was a disgusting pig, am i right travis?
travis: it’s true, i was a disgusting pig. and when i met brad, he turned my life around. i couldn’t even get a girl to look my way
brad: and now, you’re b-mping uglies with at least five chicks every night, right?
travis: every night. i can’t keep ’em away
brad: if that’s not motivation then i don’t know what is
travis: and if i can do it, you can do it! so come on and join us at-
(together): iron gains gym
brad: right off the south 9-5 freeway, three easy payments of 7 dollars and 95 cents, open 23 hours a day, call 714-818-3292. so come and join us, tell ’em brad-
travis: and travis!
brad: -sent ya

[skit 5]

rest in peace kip chipperly
heaven gained another angel
goodnight sweet prince

madybj: hey it’s you guy madybj bet you guys have on (?) so yeah, what you do is umm

[the remainder of the track is not transcribed]

- bones

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