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letra de i couldn't save him - benjamin lerner

[verse 1]
there’s a lot of sh-t going through my head right now
should be happy i ain’t dead right now
but sometimes life picks you up
just to leave you let back down
and i guess that i accept that now…
but lately it’s been hard
i’m barely maintaining at my job
barely making payments for my car
then i get a call late night –
homie said he copped an eight of white
we talking while the needle’s in his arm
he’s scared to get sober
he plays in a band
hasn’t touched dope for a while, but he can’t
quite give up on the c0ke and crystal
but he says he really wants a chance
to seek redemption
i feel like his f-ckin’ life is in my hands
tried to tell him how
been sober two years now, still face a lot of new fears now
he’s 200 miles away but i feel like he’s sitting two feet down
but he sounds a little too weak now
hear him questioning life and at his existential essence
he’s expressing how he’s beat up from his disease’s progression
he’s stressing and he’s breaking he can barely f-ckin’ take it
but he cracks ironic jokes, because he’s really trying to fake it
and i tell him you can make it, you can leave it and escape it
you’re amazing, you’re creative, you can take your life and change it
he told me that he loved me as a brother
and i told my friend the same sh-t
but still i couldn’t save him…
d-mn…

[chorus]
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him, no, i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him, no, i couldn’t save him

[verse 2]
a couple days later i’m at home
sitting in my bas-m-nt all alone
eating leftovers, watching shows
looking through the texts inside my phone
checking bank statements, making payments, trying to act all grown
but then while i was getting caught up in my trivial concerns
like money, love, power, s-x, my thinking got disturbed
i opened up my social media, read the words
that my friend – who i had just talked to – was dead
at first, i felt a wave of shock…
i couldn’t think, i couldn’t talk, i couldn’t eat
i couldn’t breathe, i couldn’t drink, i couldn’t walk
i just sat there – magnetized
tears in my baggy eyes
asking god – “man, f-ck! why the f-ck he have to die?!”
i was just talking to my friend less than two nights ago
about how life was so beautiful and how he was trying to go
a different path – but now he’s dead with a rig full of smack
inside his arm – and now its bringin’ me back
there to a place i thought i’d never see again
after all of the acceptance, surrender, apologies, amends
a lot of people think that it gets easier with time
but this disease up in my mind is gaining strength
i gotta work my job, keep going, pay rent
knowing that my brother overdosed on the fent
but i’mma keep it real as sh-t: rest in peace my friend
i’mma have to save myself, ‘cause i can’t save him

[chorus:]
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him, no, i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him
i couldn’t save him, no, i couldn’t save him

- benjamin lerner

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