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letra de wildest dreams (parody) - bart baker

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[taylor swift:]
my ex-boyfriends all hate me now
they think i was crazy and d-cked them around
i can’t stand that they think about me as a bad girlfriend
so i guess i gotta take them out!

how dare they all dump taylor swift
and not remember me as perfect
they must pay the price
and i won’t rest until they all are dead!

hey john! remember me?

[john mayer:]
sure, taylor, we dated before i met katy

[taylor swift:]
since our breakup made me scream
i’ll return the favor
go to h-ll, john mayer!
that’s right, scream

[john mayer:]
aaaaah! aaaaah!

[taylor swift:]
rest in peace
ha ha ha!

i invited joe jonas to my tent
yeah, i used to date him
back when he still had hits

[joe jonas:]
it’s not fair my career’s gone to shit
god, i hate my brother

[taylor swift:]
well he’s the one with talent!

[joe jonas:]
why would you say something so cruel?
no, please stop!
what the h-ll did i do?

[taylor swift:]
you broke up with me over the phone
and left me all alone

now i am on a plane
soon i will be k!llin’
one more ex – jake gyllenhaal

[jake gyllenhaal:]
what are you doing, tay?

[taylor swift:]
i’m hitting this b-tton
now i’m gonna jump
it’s my wildest dream

[jake gyllenhaal:]
no! no! no!

[taylor swift:]
that was three
two to go

[harry styles:]
taylor?

[taylor swift:]
h-llo, harry
i’ve come to say bye-bye
because you’re about to die

[harry styles:]
what?
i’m just going to space!

[taylor swift:]
there’s been a change of plans
cause i’m k!lling exes in
my wildest dreams
ha! ha! ha!

[calvin harris:]
what are you doing, taylor, love?

[taylor swift:]
i know eventually you will dump me

[calvin harris:]
what? no! ow!

[taylor swift:]
so i might as well
k!ll you now

- bart baker

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