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letra de a platitude and a final understanding - bad history month

[a platitude]

i scream
for ice cream
and when it comes
i feel sick
with guilt and regret
for throwing a fit
i bit the tit of the world
but still got fed
fed up with myself
i scream
for a new attitude

i’m hateful
i’m hateful
it’s shameful
to be so ungrateful
i lack nothing but that

i’m lucky
i’m lucky
i’m lucky
i win
i’m lucky
i’m lucky
i’m lucky
i see:
there’s plenty
there’s plenty
there’s more than enough for me
go ahead help yourself, it’s free
go ahead help yourself, it’s free
go ahead, help yourself
good luck
there’s morе than enough f-ck-ups
[a final understanding]

“i finally understand!”
over and ovеr and over and over and over
again and again and again…
and i start to make plans
based on my newfound perspective
but it doesn’t work out
i freak the f-ck out too soon
over and over and over
so now, what can i do?
trapped in these seemingly separate lives
and trying to get on the right side
and failing, and hating myself
for being dumb enough to try

i’ve got an angel and a devil
perched upon opposing shoulders
and their coaxing and opinions
poach attention from the center
and i’m staring at the mirror saying:
“the center is where my head is.”
and in the center of my head, i feel the root of imagination
and i focus my attention and watch my facial features fading
and i hollow out my head
and k!ll the myth of separation
and those formerly sworn enemies crawl into the husk of my head
and embrace in dirty f-cking, and my body is their soft bed
and there is no dirty talking, that noisy train has left the station, bearing words which serve no purpose but to k!ll communication
with the actual world of actual satisfaction
i’ve been chasing like a tail…
and i finally understand
over and over and over and then finally
it’s over

- bad history month

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