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letra de absurd rap 2 - b1g $wag

[intro]
ooh, what’s good? yo dap me up, dap me up. (huh?) why? (yippee!) why’d we just dap each other up? becauuuuse…

[verse]
it’s absurd rap 2: electric boogaloo
took so long to make this cause i had to go poo poo (number 2)
in my garage, i have at least 3 porches (skrrt)
what’s the garage code? it’s morse’s (bars?)
you need some help, yall need jesus (jesus)
y’all lack lactose, y’all need cheeses
i don’t lack those, i got cheese like a pizza
mozzarella, in the mafia, i will beat ya! (ay yo)
ain’t got time for chicks, bad with time management
don’t wash your leather clothes, that’s damaging! (don’t do it)
if i put b-tter in a cup, is that a b-ttercup? (no)
it was for baking but then my friend drank it up (shlurp)
he’s dead! (oh no!) he’s lactose intolerant (deceased)
he’s up in heaven now, he’s ballin’ it (swish)
never mind he’s back he made an offering
he’s mad at me we’re gonna have a conference (discussion)
it’s not a personality trait to like the office (nope)
a good trait is to give me your bank deposits (dough)
i’m not like my guitar: i am sentient
i’m not like my car: i have no engine (yup)
i’m goin f-ckin ape call me tarzan
never drop the ball like peter pan
wendy’s nuts, cold like a frosty (ice)
get an uppercut, kombat, toasty (toasty)
feeling lucky like rolling dice yahtzee
eh f-ck it imma falcon punch a n-z- (falcon punch)
hey could i borrow some pocket tater tots, please
like dynamite i’m boutta blow can’t stop me (blaow)
sometimes can’t tell between an avocado and artichoke (facts)
but one got a heart and the other don’t (that’s the pits)
who would eat deviled eggs they so stinky (stank)
is that why they h-llish? some new thinking…
i walked in the forest and started sinking (quicksand)
i wanted some more drip and started sprinkling (drippin)
making it rain like i’m a god of weather
zeus does that job? he needs to get his act together (bruh)
here in my garage, got no lambo (money?)
feelin tough like a stone no rambo (prrat ta ta)
always shootin’ shots like i’m never outta ammo (prrat ta ta)
how the f–k did you see me i was wearing camo!?
like a magician the way i make girls disappear (poof)
objects in the mirror are closer than they appear (oh sh-t)
don’t care if you love harry potter or got some b-tterbeer
scared of dementors? i’m boutta be your other fear
more like g-yboi farti! that was crazy (ha ha ha ha ha)
no xx or xy only s w a g (chromosomes)
go work your cringe 9-5 i’ll be gaming
i got a job but it’s part-time so we still gaming
you thought that was me doing work? it was me gaming
don’t play xbox or playstation only wii gaming
funny matt boxing meme knocked him out in 1 2
going too animal locked out of the zoo (moo)
you’re only lukewarm when you thought you was coo
you said sike? what a cop-out from you (lame)
don’t drink glue, eat sticks like protein bars (whoa)
i’m getting fore when some of y’all ain’t up to par (golf)
i be kissin’ my homies goodnight
i’m so repellent the bed bugs don’t wanna bite
20 fake ids, i’m mclovin it
like sentient p–p in a marathon cause i’m running sh-t (huh?)
you say you a winner but you get up and quit
you say you done making dinner but still got the oven mitts (wha)
ain’t a sinner, whoops guess i was wrong
imma atheist, look at the monkey, go grandpa! (ayyy)
raps so wacky leave you with a slack jaw
choppin’ up wood-be rappers with a hacksaw
ain’t yo daddy, but i am yo pee paw (a what?)
you donkey, all you say is hee haw
i’m the sheriff ’round these parts, yee haw
or i’m a ninja sneaking in the dark, hee yaw
i live by the blade, you live by the fade
like ya cut g, (slap) slap ya into sp-ce
universally good, expanding getting bigger
you actin like a -n-s, have some snickers (bro)
good at shootin’ shots and hittin’ nuts imma kicker (soccer)
i make her watergate flood but ain’t no richard (politics?!)
like the d-mn phones i be tappin’ that (oooh)
then we in the chill zone eating apple jacks
h-llo h-llo, i was sent by cactus jack (oh my god!)
it’s like all your clothes are wet the way that you lackin’ racks (drying racks)
yeah i flop fo no hoe, mantra of my life
wanna know how y’all muhf-ckas look? with your eyes  ooooooooh
[outro]
ohhhh (ooooh) my god (oh my god) let’s go, let’s get it, oooh, hoo hoo (wow)

- b1g wag

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