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letra de cross to bear - aversed

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allow no joy
because i am only me when i bereave
all my warmth pushed below the surface
allow no joy, no exhilaration
i do not feel like me, anymore

you are my cross to bear
yet i pushed you away when you came back for me
i would have died for you
but now that you’re gone
i should have died for you
i’m still dying for you

i will not let myself be subsumed
you’re haunting every waking moment
this trauma bonds –
this world denies my actualization

i will not believe that this is me!
i don’t even know if you are real
i cannot feel the same detail anymore

i could almost breathe
but you held me under
you held me
for all of our sakes and our future selves
despite what i said
i pray this is not the end
the end has come

but now that you’re gone
my yearning has only grown…

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