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letra de lance the unbeautiful - arseless chaps

[intro: damian cowell]
this story is based on actual events
as overheard by a man in a hi-vis vest at a freedom rally

[verse 1: tony martin]
lenny kravitz and lisa bonet
they had a daughter, called her zoe
they’re all so gorgeous, it makes me blush
they had a son though, they kept that hush

[chorus: damian cowell & tony martin]
lance the unbeautiful
lance the unbeautiful
from little things big things grow
don’t tell me, doctor, the x-ray shows
from little things, big things grow
sometimes you gotta-
lance

[verse 2: damian cowell]
they gave him everything, they loved him so
all the best schools, they watched him grow
but here’s the secret that brought them shame
he was so ordinarily plain
they helicopter-parented him
convinced him beauty’s beneath the skin
he tried out acting and rock ‘n roll
just go rejection, it k!lled his soul
[chorus: damian cowell & tony martin]
lance the unbeautiful
lance the unbeautiful
he went on a rampage, shot up a community
he ended up more famous than the rest of the family
disney’s bought the rights for a billion-dollar epic
lenny’s playing lance, wearing a prosthetic

[outro: tony martin & damian cowell]
what’s his name?
what’s his name?
what’s his name?
tell me, what’s his name?
what’s his name?
what’s his name?
what’s his name?
tell me, what’s his name?
(lance!) what’s his name?
(lance!) what’s his name?
(lance!) what’s his name?
tell me, what’s his name?
(lance!) what’s his name?
(lance!) what’s his name?
(the unbeautiful) what’s his name?
tell me, what’s his name?
(they called him lance) what’s his name?
what’s his name?
(they called him lance) what’s his name?
tell me, what’s his name?
(lance, lance, lance, lance) what’s his name?
(lance, lance, lance, lance) what’s his name?
(lance, lance, lance, lance) what’s his name?
(lance, lance, lance, lance) tell me, what’s his name?

- arseless chaps

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