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letra de ancestor - anyone's ghost

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when we came out to the suburbs i thought
maybe this time it’ll be all i ever wanted
now my revenge fantasies never play out like i’d hoped
we were supposed to get married

i used to wish you’d die in your sleep lying next to me
an evil thought, i had it all the same
i am no better than the people who i blame
for making me this way
post-traumatic, existential
directionless and weak
obedient wife you made of me

all your heroes are bad people
and the ones who aren’t, you just don’t know it yet
it’s the way of the world, since you were just a little girl
never really had a chance, always too strange to comprehend
and n0body understood that frightened, silent kid
apart from men who said they would
if you’d be subservient in bed
i am always living out
my own contingency plans
they give out the crisis line
knowing you’ll call it up again–

f-ck my father and the spirits
your father, too, hurt you’d inherit
f-ck the men who paid to sleep with me
coersion until i’d agree
the way you got to keep your job
when everything was said and done
f-ck acting like a docile pet
the performance and the cheap neglect
pray to god to never be possessed
or hurt or owned by broken men
and i hope you never experience happiness again
an evil thought, i have it all the same

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