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letra de ice - angela khristin brown

alone, i find a blank stare, staring back at emptiness. no one answers my calls. i answer my own cries by thinking out loud
on to emotions, i feel alone. i try holding on to reality. it is difficult to do with no one around to listen

feel the cold inside i am used to. i am bitter, confused and alone. empty, i keep my own company in the dark
alone, i talk to myself. i laugh at my own jokes. i answer my own questions. with no one around, i think out loud to hear my own voice response. its dark, cold and i am not by myself on this
isolated, i distance myself from reality. beneath this mask of uncertainty, i feel myself breathing

i am happy when i make up stories that keep my entertained. i am the only person who knows the truth. i can relate to my voice as my keeper
in the bitter, cold i hold in anger. bottled up anger. the anger broken to ties, dodging hits. i am a victim of my own mind. thoughts racing inside, the emotions of anger and resentment i hold inside my mind
i am the broken bottle that seems to tear away at the guilt of being hurt with regret pondering thoughts, escaping…
i inhale life through expressing emotions i put aside…
i love again…
i open my eyes to see the same visions i cannot see in the dark. being alone is a dark, empty seclusion of dry, cold air biting at my skin
i cannot fear what i cannot see, but i feel the bitter sadness of being cold, the suddenness of feeling dry air at night…

the life that exist lies within deep concentration. i begin to communicate…
i am the echo in the night. silence, my voice carries in the distance
my voice cries out to be heard. i want to be loved. alone i don’t’ feel loved. my voice wants to be held. i miss being loved. my voice wants to be heard. i miss being loved

my voice is the only sound that carries in the dark that i hear
alone, i am in the dark. i find myself reaching out to touch, but the distance is too great. the distance is infinite in time
alone, i feel my heart beating life every second. my thoughts are a reflection of my mind. i find my spirit slipping. i am the mirror image of old age and youth. inside i am slowly dying because no one listens anymore
alone, i am empty. i find thoughts pondering at a distance that continues its thought patterns, disconnected thoughts that no longer make since to not even me…
alone, i am a victim of self-thought, forgetting, appearing emotions that are seamless in time at places i had not seen, knowing what could have been, wasn’t., what was, is not, memories comes back and again to find it never had been…
i close my eyes
to hear your voice
to feel you breathe
to touch your face
if only to see you again, to bring life back into me
i have forgotten you being alone…
alone is to escape the mad man mindless promise you made me to return
i waited for you to change your ways
to become the man of my dreams
but; to see you leave and leave me out in the cold…
i once felt the warmth of your body embrace me with comfort
when we were one, i began to thirst
to quench my thirsty feeling i had when we made love
and you left me for another women
i was dehydrated from not having the water i needed to survive
i wanted to escape the madness of being alone
of the promise you made to return
i waited for you for hours, days, months
you gave me the sp-ce i needed
because of you, i have more time to think
i am beginning to find myself in the cold ice
i am in a better place without you
salt is the bitter cold
that dries deep in the soul
when it has exposed to flesh
the meat begins to taste…

salt has become
the substitute
for hunger
of being alone
when you are alone, you suffer from the needs of having someone in your life to share time with
when you are alone, you begin to count the day’s one by one, with nothing, no one, no thoughts, no deeds
with holding fund memories
holding back
the cold stone
the black ashes
and the ice…
alone, you have no worries
no tasks, no memories to fall back to…
alone, you find yourself
distancing from the truth
that leaves you into the mad world
of solace…
alone, i am the dim light
that shine in the night
my light is empty
from the air
i withhold from breathing
alone, i do not exist
the fl!ckering light
becomes a dull light
in the dark
that
no one wants
to be…
alone, i sleep
i cannot breath
i cannot feel
i cannot see
alone, i am in a trans
i begin to dream
exist…
i am fighting for my life, alone. every day is a struggle to live. when life holds me in its arm, i begin to grip reality and life embraces me with its charm until i feel no more…and then silence…

- angela khristin brown

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