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letra de just a pretty face (interlude) - alice collier

they claim i’m but a pretty face
judging by the size of my waist
they say i asked for it
that my mind is but a waste
they say i look happier now
just cause i got a bit bigger
in the waist and chest too
they call it fatherless behaviour
unaware he’s my steadfast saviour
climbing to the top through any strife
even if you think i should cease this life
all i seek is a touch of escapism
to the trees i run, facing the prism
i pleaded for humanity’s embrace
but found only dread and madness in its place
i smoked until i felt unbound
only to see what i needed was already found

i am no longer connеcted to the friction
the friction of thе walls
the friction of our relationship
the friction of our violently s-xual games
they each took turns in the deep reverb of the forest
and i felt like i’m nothing but a poisoned body
we were there all night
i believed i would choke to death and my spirit would remain forever tainted
and when i started to cry
they only went further, enjoying the view
this wasn’t the first time i cried during a late night encounter
i knew it wouldn’t be the last
i crave the crowds
i crave the attention
i crave the applaud
i crave the validation
even in the body of a middle aged demon
i’m nothing without everybody, anybody
the audience, the cheers
born to be the artist, not the muse
born to be criticised and picked apart
born to be the second option
born to be a man
so after he dropped me off along the streets of winchester
walking back in a puddle of regret, vomit and the corpse of my inner identity
dressed in all black and ripped fishnets
i cry of all the aching and i reintroduce myself
i bathe myself in the sea of purity
unwinding my inner insecurity
that connects to my s-d-stic s-xuality
i destroy distractions and pictures on walls
i look inside and i cry
is this all i am?
i know nothing about myself
but everything about everyone else
because i’m forever changing
am i just a pretty face?
or just living in the twenty first century?

- alice collier

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