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letra de take me from this corpus christi used car lot - alex walton

[spoken]

you are closeted
you are living in central texas
you hate yourself
you are making a record about your overwhelming and abject pain
and telephone poles seem to make crucifixes wherever you go
you know, wherever you go a telephone pole seems to make a crucifix
between your eyes and your brain
and you need help
you- you need actual, real help, psychiatric help
what is god even to you
god is a concept by which you avoid seeing a psychiatrist
and your mеmory’s a gray haze, you know
she hurt you- she hurt you rеally bad, you know
she hurt you really bad, you know
it was 4 years of it
and she made you promise that you weren’t certain things
and you loved her so much that you believed it
but, you know, how we all-
we all want straight boyfriends sometimes, right
but you know, 4 years of it [stutters]
4 years of it-
it does something to you
uh, ’cause she- she’s gone now
but you still cannot relate to yourself
uh, you don’t know yourself
you- you need a girl who gives you two packs of cigarettes
and forces you to f-ck her outside of a 7-11
and you do not want to but you do it
because we all need something to do
uh, and you- you sit down at your computer
to record a song you just wrote
and like- like always you- you wait until your parents leave
so you can- so you can uh, sing, uh, these words
[sung]
y’know, what more can i do to lie to myself
that everything’s gonna be alright
that i can just put on some f-ggy dress
and be in your arms all night
no one really cares babe
when you don’t feel like a man
and everyone believes a little too much
when you say you’re gonna kick the can

[spoken]
and then you scr-p it
you tell yourself you couldn’t find the right arrangement
you know, that’s what you say anyways

and you go with your parents and their friends to camp
on the beach corpus christi
and it’s a disaster
it’s too cold to sleep
the water reaches the tents
there’s sand and tar over everything
and on- on the way back you catch glimpses of yourself
in your phone camera
and everything you do to look better to yourself
seems not to work
and you- you don’t even recognise that person
you want to k!ll that person
and [stutters] everything reaches a fever pitch
and [stutters] and it’s strip malls all the way home
and you return to this record
and you need emotional resolution and clarity and release
you need a climax
so you force it, and you use all your tricks, and the words won’t come
only meaningless poetry and empty platitudes
and how can you be honest with anyone
if you can’t be honest with yourself
you know, i’m not even sure how much you’re, uh
all of this you’re conscious of
and you- you are 20 years old
you’re- f-ck
you’re making me cry
you wanna be held
you want things to make sense
you scream when you lie
it’s hard for you you to hear when you lie and when you scream
and do you actually believe in anything you’re saying
and it’s hard for me to hear the song
because it’s [?]
[sung]
your heart burst into flames
and something inside you exclaims

“i know who i am”
“i know who i am”
“i know who i am”
“i know who i am”
i
i (know who i am)

you don’t, but that’s ok
even if i could tell you, your brain is a fog
and your parents’ tequila
i can never listen to this song
and it’s not just that it runs too long
it just, always makes me cry
always makes me cry, always always
when you were young
you believed [?]
and you convinced yourself you were schizophrenic
and you didn’t want to think about anything
anything
oh, she’s got a boyfriend now
she goes to disneyland 3 times a year
and she’s happy
and she’ll never know how it feels
she’s chosen to never ever really have to feel
and she won’t
and that’s ok
get off the floor
make more bad decisions
they’re better than not deciding at all
at least for the most part
i love who you are
and i love who you become
i love who you are
and i love who you become
i love who you are
and i love who you become
i love who you are
and i love who you become

there’s more unholy grievances to come
there’s much better songs to come

there’s much better things to come

tears are rolling down my cheeks
my heart’s been yearning for a couple weeks
this hate is burning holes in my teens
i wish i knew just what that means
euridice
don’t pray for me
you know nothing of what i’ve done
cathy
don’t pray for me
you know nothing

- alex walton

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