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letra de sometimes i doubt your commitment to sparkle motion - ahoy!

he knew that something wasn’t right, from the moment that he walked in.
saw the knife from the kitchen, left a hole in the counter.
he saw the wooden picture frame that sits on the end stand near the couch, had somehow fallen, had somehow broken the gl-ss.
he saw the words that he had written on the back in black ink of how much he loved her, of how he would never let her go.
and he never let her go.
if you love her, you must let her go.
as he walked through the hallway, through the pictures of his wedding day, he thought back to those days and how she took his love away.
he thought of how he tried to find the words to form a sentence a thousand times to describe what he’d done, to right all his wrongs, but it felt so wrong.
funny how these things just sorta happen with no intention, like if we can’t learn to trust ourselves, how will we ever learn to trust someone else.
and down the hall he heard a subtle voice crying, as he cautiously walked through what looked to be a crime scene.
past, what would of been his child’s room, he’s second to none when it comes to killing his dreams of having a son.
unaware of his detriment, he knew his cause would have an effect.
but never thought it would be of this magnitude, that he was walking through the effect, of her feeling so used, that she had planned to build a noose for two.
at the end he saw his bedroom door cracked, scared of what he’d find, of what would be behind that door, a creak when he opens it, and steps onto a trashed carpet floor lining the doorway.
he saw the bed trashed, push against the wall.
he saw the bed sheets ripped and on the floor.
he saw the wedding ring the he had slid on her finger on her wedding day all alone on the dresser, next to the ultrasound of their baby boy, incased in light blue, with words written in pinkish red, we will always love you.
and from the corner of his eyes, a black shadowy figure moves across the wall.
he turns his attention to his wife, standing off in the light of the bathroom.
makeup smeared, clothes trashed, vacant stare, broken smile, crooked gun.
she said “oh, look what you’ve done.
you’ve thrown this whole family aside for nothing more than half used candles and a bottle of f-cking wine.
and if i had it my way, you’d suffer just as much as me.
but since i can’t pull out your f-cking heart, i’ll watch you slowly f-cking bleed.
is she everything you dreamt of?
is she everything you wanted?
does she scream out your name?
do you enjoy every moment?
and what do you think of when you lay down at night?
do you think of your baby boy, or do you think of all your lies?
how dare you try to justify your actions.
how dare you look me in the eyes.
every i love you like you stabbed me in the back, and every time you touched me like a noose around my neck.
every kiss goodnight like a slit on my wrist.
and oh my god, i just have to end this, end this, end this.

- ahoy

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