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letra de an inventory of love lost - addison boozer

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i used to hide in the comfort of a lie
in the safety of not facing the truth
i used to tease myself with bits of pain and heartbreak
and question why it wasn’t me that you’d choose

but when i started to hand myself over fully
that was when true agony would ensue
now, looking back, i see how all of this has shaped me
and how i numb myself to pull myself through

and i used to glance down your street
and think back on the days before i knew how it ended
that young, naive version of me
b-tterflies in my stomach were all i comprehended

it’s taken me some time to see that someone must have broken you the way you broke me
now i carry this legacy of stripping situations of their simplicity
it’s been a year since we perceived that our dissonance couldn’t be remedied
yet when someone says your name, i freeze
you were my insight to life’s harsh reality

i thought of myself as ruined until further notice
that was last summer, but maybe it’s still true
i built some walls around myself for my protection
and thought them impenetrable until i met you

all music moved me; i could only think of how you’d hold me
and everything just felt too good to be true
i didn’t even mind being your little secret
as long as i got to walk home at night with you

so much of that just went unspoken
now you’re across the ocean, but still there in my mind
and i’m afraid of asking questions, i’m afraid of your answers
i’m afraid that you’d lie

it’s taken me some time to see that sometimes i just need to let things be
not get stuck on formalities, see new modes of simplicity
it’s been seven months since i perceived that the night sees things the day can’t see
when you call my phone, i freeze
you were my insight to life’s harsh reality

i used to have a love that seemed so very simple
but i had to go and complicate things
you were honest, happy, and idealistic
and you understood my opulent daydreams

but when you pulled me in, i pulled myself away
and so you went and found someone more fitting
i wish you all the best, i’m proud to call you my friend
and i hope you get the happiest ending

then i met someone i quite liked, met someone whose totality made all the rest falter
and i remember sitting there and thinking there was nothing about you that i’d alter

it’s taken us some time to see that circumstances got in between you and me
life ruined our simplicity; we have no choice but complicity
just imagine meeting me in a different time and place entirely
magnetism, electricity, and nothing pulling you away from me

it’s taken me some time to see that all i want is to live poetically
to live life with intensity, chase liberty and ecstasy
i guess i’ll just keep idealizing what i’ve lost and what i’ve not yet seen
and i’ll long for days when i can see that life’s bliss outweighs life’s harsh reality

- addison boozer

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