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letra de coup de grâce (the final blow) - 156/silence

it seems like i’m back in this place again. like i never left
as if there’d ever be the briefest relief in strain
don’t hold your breath

my final note i leave will read “things could have been so much worse”
i hurt for all the wrong reasons. of course you’re only there when it benefits you

put yourself in my place and tell me what should be done
push me over the edge and don’t regret if i fall flat on my face
how can i unlace harnesses holding me to the subbase? awfully luckless
lovelorn and rusted into a shadow of what i once was when everything wasn’t grey
they don’t see, they don’t understand what i’ve been put through
the things i say won’t always stay true but if i may, let me reveal to you everything the shade doesn’t want you to see through

will you watch as i talk with walls i walk along?
dragging blood down every single hall to paint every pain that you’ve left me
let me feel empty just as i should be
deprivation sinks into my keepsakes
hesitations risk everything we’ve made ours

but this is nothing new
what’s the use?
what’s the use if i’m just tried as something unwelcome?
another line for everyone helping me to swallow pride and bury misfortunes
i have come to find that everything’s worsening and if i die far before i intend to, keep me alive in your memory. separate me from my lies and the morbid aversions
i cannot decide if i deserve anything but severed ties and these torturous horrors every day and night
i still fear looking forward at my future life without your reinforcement
as hurtful roses, the final blow you spoke to me was “don’t hold your breath”

- 156silence

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