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letra de i, dysmorphia - saving vice

cinder in my palm as i feel the winds shift
there’s smoke in my eyes but it feels like a gift
while i drift, sift, lift myself from the burden
if i’m looking in the mirror then you know that i’m hurting

when i look, i see fear that all of my worth
is dependent on inventions of a superficial earth
if i can cover up, if i just work on my charm
nip and tuck
work of art
like the shape of my scars
you can see that i’m vain and i put it on display
in the mirror like a window to h-ll
sometimes i hate myself
replace my face, just put me on the shelf
where at least i could be loved by anyone else but me

mind is racing and it can’t slow down
i’m burning all my clothing for a casket gown
overstimulated and i can’t sleep sound
better off breathing with my head in the clouds

too tight wound when i scream no sound
cut too close now i can’t be found
purge my pain just to it shut down
mind over mayhem gagged and bound

it took ten f-cking years to face my fears
to block out the sound
die on any hill if it makes you feel taller
the echo chamber holds them tight, their voices in the gutter
most vulnerable of prey, oblivious despite
the most dangerous of snakes don’t rattle when they bite

you can see that i’m vain and i put it on display
in the mirror like a window to h-ll
sometimes i hate myself
replace my face, just put me on the shelf
where at least i could be loved by anyone else but me
lash out, burn it down
parade your empty soul around
maybe you can make them hurt the way you choose to hurt yourself
i project my own self-loathing on the ones that i love the most
the skin-deep facade
the sum of my flaws
a fiction, a fraud

- saving vice

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