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letra de recollection of a (nonexistent) relationship - north limb

[part α]
i’m not really sure what i expected
when i asked you to watch the eclipse with me
i suppose i thought it would have helped
bring us closer together
but in the end the clouds covered over
and we didn’t get to see the moon at all
the chasm that separates us remains
unchanged

i’m not sure what you really expected
when you invited me in your bedroom
i suppose you thought thе fences we built
would bе enough to protect our hearts
but in the end they did nothing
we crossed right over the border we built
and shattered our hearts on the broken
shores of my love

hand in hand i’ve fallen for you
hand in hand i’m falling for you
hand in hand im latching on to as
as much of you i can bear
but the tighter we hold on to each other
the deeper our th-rns will tear our skin
maybe it would have been better
to stay apart after all
i burnt myself today, i burnt my fingers
i was pouring hot water but i missed the cup and it burned me
and i missed the cup because i was distracted by you
i was looking instead of looking where my fingers were
which i guess is sorta poetic consider that
i’ve burnt myself in the rest of my life because
i’m not looking where i’m going, because i’m looking at you instead
i’m distracted by you

i went to the beach to try and rid myself
of you, i wrote some poem in the sand
and let the waves wash my feelings away
but i never felt better i only craved
to lie by your side even more
but there was no ship to sail to you
i think i just made things worse

so i didn’t do anything about it
i just let the feelings fester
now i spend every morning
suspended in grief over you
there is no catharsis in letting go
only a growing dread of knowing
your life will continue even when i’m gone

last night i dreamed i was laying
with you under the willow in your backyard
but it wasn’t going to last
there is no security in your arms
your words betray your actions
my words don’t mean anything
i try so hard to mean something
each try pushes you further away
loving you has no foundation
the morning is coming soon
i know when i wake
i’ll grieve over the rising sun

rest well my love

do you want to pass the time with me
i don’t want to be lonely anymore
do you want to pass the time with me
i don’t think you want to be lonely anymore

and in my dreams you sing to me a song
of love and life
and i for once don’t turn my
back on your ghost
and even though i know
that when i lay my head on your chest
and you run your fragile hands through my hair
it’s not real
and even though i know this dream
never will be real
it’s enough for it to exist
right now
do you want to pass the time with me
we don’t have to be lonely anymore
do you want to pass the time with me
i’ll make sure it’s worth your life

kiss my heart
touch my ghost
i give it all to you
you can keep the shadow of my soul
in your bedroom
i know soon you’ll let your lover in there
you can tell him to throw it away
release my life into the night

i can’t look into your eyes
they flame over in grief
reflecting the fire of our souls
back into us burning our hearts
i know i can’t give you what you need
and you can’t give me what i want
my rusted body will fail while your
soul burns to the ground

just know
i want to be human with you
do you want to become human together?
i think that could save us from our graves
if you want
together

last night i dreamed i was laying on a moonlit beach with you
while the tide was and we tried to figure out how to say goodbye
we never did
but now the dream is bleeding into my life
and i don’t want to say farewell
i’m trapped here with you

i’ll tattoo your name on the wall of my heart
so an angel is always with me
but if you’re what an angel truly is
i’m glad i’m never going to heaven

i’ve ignored the rising tide for so long now
i don’t think there’s a way for us to make it back to shore safely
i know the only way we will be able to escape our grave
is by jumping into this dream as one

maybe there i’ll finally understand you
maybe there you can finally connect with me
but if you decide you want to leave me behind
i won’t resist
just please let me down gently

when the moment arrives don’t
waste the last of your time here-
the sound is thundering
soon you’ll be gone
how am i losing someone
i never really had?
i don’t understand
what’s the point at all?
it’s going to end
if you ever even loved me then
what’s the point at all?
if you never even loved me then
there’s no point at all
i give up

rest well my love

- north limb

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