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letra de hermitage shanks - mr.b the gentleman rhymer

i am the chappy
who’s seen the bappies
of a thousand lappy l-sses
clad in all the castle
but probably not the h-ssle
my kazound’s up in the wind
of a world of pure delight
bright the world of sin is
like the finish on some nylon tights
styled on times gone past
with just a hint of twenty-first century -rs-

i am the chap who spent a whole d-mn summer on gin
i got the clap and i lamented
i don’t have a plan
now draw me again (?)
run to mummy
and then
to the place where i find sp-ce
solace, and grace
far from the trappings of the rodentile race
down with the strides
save grace and then
brace myself for whatever may occur
it’s the sit-down of champions
i’m sure you’ll concur
if the lure of modern life has become too much
i long for my porcelain crutch and so

i retire to hermitage shanks
for a rest and a read
and perhaps a little —

if i’m drawing a blank
i give thanks to the tank
when i retire to hermitage shanks

hermitage shanks, you’re my piece of the rock
down with the britches
out with the old —

clasp the chain with a couple of yanks
and give thanks
to hermitage shanks

when i’ve overdone it on the sherry
and i’m very merry
with a delhi belly
i can verily -ssume
i can retire to this room
and resume the job at hand
and then rejoin my merry band

i would give it ten minutes, if i were you
ten minutes to recover from the shock and ballyhoo
ballywho did that? ballyme or ballyyou?
you’re celiac, you, obsessed with the poo!

i’m off to the kit-kat club for a few more
sweet or dry sherry; matters not!
i’ll do more of the same
the notions which dare not speak their name!

i’m the master of my domain, so i claim
then why am i always the one to blame
when a distaste for the air is exclaimed!
when the accusations become too much…

i long for my porcelain crutch and so…

i retire to hermitage shanks!
for a rest and a read and perhaps a little–…
if i’m drawing a blank, i give thanks to the tank
when i retire to hermitage shanks!

hermitage shanks, you’re my piece of the rock!
down with the britches, out with the old–…
clasp the chain with a couple of yanks
and give thanks to hermitage shanks!

- mr b the gentleman rhymer

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